Hi All-I just wanted to reach out for support and guidance through my recovery journey. I've done a lot of reading through these forums in the last few days and everyone's experience and stories have been enlightening and has helped me ground myself for what may be to come. I'm a mid 30's professional that has been smoking cumulatively for approx 17 years, with varying frequency. The last 1.5 years has been daily usage. My volume was pretty low, I was truly using it to "medicate" to relieve stress and would indulge a little heavier on the weekends, I'd maybe use a gram in a week to 10 days (if that) and would typically stick with flower (non dispensary grade). I honestly got to a point where I didn't like to get "stoned" but would rather use it to calm my mind/energize me to get things done (at least that's what I told myself...)
I had a random panic attack about 6 weeks ago after a big presentation at work and that triggered me to want to quit. I went 2 weeks w/ out it and had severe anxiety and mild/moderate depression. My doctor prescribed Vysteril (hydroxizine) to help w/ the anxiety and help w/ sleep. I believe it did help me sleep but not sure what it did about my anxiety, other than make me feel groggy in the mornings. I then became weak and did a small celebration on 4/20 and immediately regretted it. I gave away all of my paraphernalia to my friend and I've been clean now for nearly just over 3 weeks, but am having a hard time w/ the anxiety and depression. I have no idea if this is PAWS or I'm still in the detox/acute recovery phase. I have a fairly stressful job and blessed to have two young children which is likely compounding things. I want to remain strong for my kids, my wife and for my career but I'm already fearful that my anxiety and depression are only going to get worse in the coming weeks/months. My doctor recommended I use the Vysteril if needed and she even recommended trying something called Buspar if things get worse but, from what I've been reading that can make things worse or lengthen the recovery time. I've also read conflicting stories on CBD products, I've used them in the past to help w/ stress and focus and have had positive results but again, don't want to derail my recovery. One thing is for certain, I don't want to use Marijuana any more and I'm committed to getting through this! Thank you everyone for sharing their stories and experience.