by Robert Plamondon » Wed Mar 16, 2016 4:43 pm
Let's analyze the issue a bit. (And keep in mind that I haven't actually been in the dating scene for a long time.)
Let's divide the parties involved the three categories: "seducer," the "seduced," and the "indifferent," for the sake of convenience.
Some initial observations:
* If the goal is consensual, unpaid sex, then the plausible strategies are (a) to be hit on by a seducer, (b) to seduce someone who is not indifferent to your advances, and (c) to move someone from indifferent to interested, then seduce them. None of these are mutually exclusive.
* Let's consider category (c) to be either a long-term effort or a short-term effort in the hands of a master, and set it aside. This is not about seducing nuns and virgins, but having sex with someone for whom "sex tonight" is on their radar.
* Okay, so let's walk down the strategies. Strategy (a) is to put yourself into a state where people will take a shot at seducing you. This involves a series of skills. Dress and grooming, for starters. Self-hypnosis or NLP techniques to get yourself into the zone are likely to be helpful as well, to make yourself impervious to nervousness and self-doubt, and perhaps boredom as well.
* Strategy (b) requires you to take initiative, otherwise it's much the same.
* In all strategies, the main requirement is to establish a genuine rapport. Trying to skip this step and get the other person straight to the "Yes, master" stage is where people go horribly wrong (though there are plenty of BDSM folks who are into that sort of thing, including with hypnosis, so that's a thought...). Rapport builds a connection with the other person and makes each of you more likely to enjoy and want to please the other.
* Rapport is facilitated by learning basic NLP rapport skills, learning to take a genuine interest in the other person (self-hypnosis is your friend here), dialing back your hormonally driven sense of urgency so your brain can start working (ditto), the idea that this one interaction is really just practice, and you'll be surprised and delighted if it turns into something more (ditto), and ordinary social skills. When in doubt, curiosity or humor -- these are the go-to responses. Of course, rapport turns the other person into a real individual as far as your own responses are concerned.
* Once you're in an actual conversation with good rapport, paying attention to your partner's responses, then embedded commands have a chance to work, but I think they're too difficult for everyday work. Indirect suggestion is your friend here. In some situations, like bars with both lonely individuals and affectionate couples, you're surrounded by indirect suggestions and barely have to point them out.
Robert