Connor wrote:I get upset very easily. When someone has wronged me, I'll be upset about it for a good couple of hours and even have trouble sleeping because of it. Most of the time, its not even something worth getting upset about. So I know I have a problem. What I need help with is how to keep myself from getting so upset.
Hi Connor,
Yes, yes, getting upset and then being bothered by Hours of continuously intrusive ‘Internal Dialogue’ , that can last even so long as to bother our Sleep, well, that is VERY Common, and Most People experience it to some degree… and sometimes quite often.
The ‘Trick’ to minimizing Internal Dialogue is in Letting Unimportant Problems just ‘Go’ – TOO Unimportant to Worry About – and this usually does the Trick. If you Take No Action, there is Really Nothing to Think About, is there? Well, yes, you could think that You Should Have Done This or Said That, but if you can Reply to Yourself, that “It is Best Just to Let the Little Stuff Go, and Worry Only about the Big Things”, then you will have a lot more Peace of Mind.
I noticed it first when Driving… Commuting back and forth to work. If I would see some Bad Driving, or Rude Driving… if I let myself Start to Think about it, then it would be with me for a while. If I actually DID ANYTHING about it, like honk my horn and roll down the window and make angry gestures, well, THEN, the incident would be with me for Hours. So I learned, to simply SEE what is happening, and if there is no threat of imminent harm, then just File It Away and forget about it. It works great… just not letting yourself get Pulled In. To use a metaphor, one should simply Not Take the Bait when possible Worries or Concerns arise that are better left ‘unplayed’.
This is why I have so much of a Problem with the Assertiveness People – the ‘Experts’ who feel that for People to be Adequate and Socially Well-Adjusted or Spiritually Realized, or Whatever It Is they are Looking For that They must Necessarily Make Some Kind of a Big Deal about Everything – that Each Person’s Opinion is Important and it is some kind of a Desecration not to Spout it Off.. to Stand Up for Oneself and Be Counted… blah, blah blah. What all that Assertiveness Actually Does is Lifts the Curtain for all Sorts of Drama and Internal Dialogue. One Wonders how these Constantly Assertive People do not Drive Themselves Crazy, telling the World everything they Think and Standing Up for Everything they Stand Up For… When isn’t it true that One Thing Always just seems to Lead to Another. The Best Way to Stop it is Don’t Get Started.
Also, one of my Favorite pieces of Advice to New Posters is to Warn of the Snowballing Effect of Cussing and Swearing. Problems that start out Small, get A Lot Bigger as soon as you start Cussing about Them. To Keep Calm, well, just Keep Calm, and the Easiest Way to Keep Calm is to Simply Watch your Language.
Also, many people don’t realize that their Internal Dialogue … their Thinking… helps to get them into a lot of Trouble, Especially if you Think in Terms of Cuss Works. It is difficult to ACT Calm, if all of your Thinking is a Large String of Vulgar Profanities. So don’t Say Swear Words… and don’t even Think Them.
Anyway, THAT should keep you busy for a while. Let me know if any of it helped.