unpopular topic [memory erase]

I'm a hypnotist, not a therapist, so I'm going to talk about what's practical, not what's right. I'm sure Richard will be by shortly to fill us in on the other side of things.

Erasing a memory with hypnosis is easy. Having the memory stay away forever is more difficult -- I'm not even sure that it's possible with everybody. I've heard of people who erased the memory from their conscious mind, but kept dreaming about it every night until they fully resolved it.

So what I'd suggest instead of erasing the memory is getting rid of the emotions attached to this memory, which should be much easier. Usually this is done by taking the client into trance, having them turn the memory black and white, having them put that memory in a picture frame, having them adjust the brightness of that memory with a dial like an old TV set until everything turns white, having them use their finger to write in gold letters what they needed to learn from this memory -- or "This can never happen to be again" if there was nothing to learn, and having them move that frame and the memory within it to the back of the mind.

You could get someone else to guide you through this, or you could record a self-hypnosis MP3 to do it yourself. You could also erase the memory. Like I said, that's pretty simple. But I don't think it will last forever or solve your problem. So I suggest this instead.

This is the one thing that clients ask for that I routinely refuse to do!

I explain to them that they're assuming that if they forget the event, they'll stop feeling so bad, but this is by no means guaranteed! They could easily continue to feel bad -- and no longer know why.

Anyway, hypnotic amnesia is constructed like any other suggestion.

Robert

Thank you both for your replies. I expected that it wouldn't be a popular subject.

Basically, as this is an anonymous online username, I have had a problem with gambling - I have lost tens of thousands to it. I have been with my girlfriend for a year and I am the luckiest guy to have her - she has changed me in so many ways - all for the better. We have an amazing relationship and make one another happy and stronger.

I had a blow-out and went to the casino after having some drinks with friends - I believe this is linked as I have a craving to go to the casino almost without fail when I drink. So, this is something I'd also like to seek remedy from through hypnosis.

My biggest issue, and the reason for creating this account to ask if that after having gone to the casino and losing around $2000 I was very annoyed at myself and feeling low (as I always do after I've lost). I opted to walk home to take time to think about myself (and continue to feel low and angry) and whilst walking home was approached by a hooker.

I don't know what came over me and I am ashamed of myself but I had sex with her - safely, thank God. I'm not trying to make excuses for my actions because simply there are none. I expect feedback that I should tell her so she can split up with me and I completely understand that argument. I'm hoping, however, not to get into that debate - and I've said I'm guilty and am feeling low about it.

I have made a huge mistake, but do not want to hurt her as she is the most amazing girl I've ever met. I don't want to lose her - that's the selfish side to this, but I also can't stand the thought of her being hurt.

As I said, I understand the ethics behind what I've posted and completely understand any and all resentment towards me - I am not condoning my actions, nor making excuses as there simply aren't any. I am, however, trying to erase this memory and stop myself from it happening ever again.

Thanks again, e_p

En_passant,

The RESULTS you're looking for are routine for any skilled hypnotherapist, it's just the means that are questionable. They're the hypnotic equivalent of trying to swim upstream.

The most obvious consequences of amnesia are that it interrupts the natural process of learning from experience and integrating it into new behavior. This puts the hypnotist on the hook for finding ways to help you learn from an experience you can't remember and alter your behavior to avoid things you can't remember either. By substituting a prosthetic learning process for a real one, things become difficult.

(Hypnotic amnesia is normally done just to blur what was said during a session, so your conscious mind won't pick at it.)

I haven't made much of a study of it, but my impression is that amnesia for a traumatic event reduces distress but doesn't have much of a corrective effect on behavior. That's not what you want!

Any halfway decent hypnotherapist has a variety of techniques for reducing distress. My theory (this is not an exact science by any means) is they make use of the natural healing process that allows people to bounce back from tragedy and error to feel good about themselves again, so they can look back on the dark times without wincing. This works very well, presumably because we're tapping into an innate capability. An important part of this seems to be learning from experience and moving forward.

Robert

Thank you both for your replies. I expected that it wouldn't be a popular subject.

I wouldn't worry about it too much. I find this to be one of the more fascinating topics there is, for the exact reasons you expect it to be unpopular. I have much to say on the topic (and experience with this type of request), but I'm waiting to see how you respond to the standard advice first.

As I said, I understand the ethics behind what I've posted and completely understand any and all resentment towards me - I am not condoning my actions, nor making excuses as there simply aren't any. I am, however, trying to erase this memory and stop myself from it happening ever again.

I'd be kinda surprised if you got any resentment from anyone here. It seems like you've been resenting yourself enough for everyone.

saladinsmith wrote:
So what I'd suggest instead of erasing the memory is getting rid of the emotions attached to this memory, which should be much easier. Usually this is done by taking the client into trance, having them turn the memory black and white, having them put that memory in a picture frame, having them adjust the brightness of that memory with a dial like an old TV set until everything turns white, having them use their finger to write in gold letters what they needed to learn from this memory -- or "This can never happen to be again" if there was nothing to learn, and having them move that frame and the memory within it to the back of the mind.

.

If the memory is causing him pain than it would be due to a behaviour/s(his in this case) conflicting with what he believes is right. en_passant stated that he didn't want to remove the sting so I'm guessing he just wants to re do the past or make the mistake go away not the emotional outcome.

I worry that by removing the negative emotion from that action he may be loosening his "moral" compass after all there is a word for people who lack empathy and to have empathy you have to be able to feel the negative feelings a person may feel not just the positive esp if its from your own actions.
I'm not being smart and know a lot of people recommend this form of disassociation from a negative emotion but what are the long term effects to a persons moral compass/belief structure with this approach(This is a serious question as I would like to know). Will the removal of the negative emotional outcome filter through to how I perceive the event next time?

Too me the pain I have experienced in my life has stayed in my memory to ensure that I don't repeat the mistake. Would you hypnotise your child to remove the negative association to a hot pot? I wouldn't as the memory of the burn helps to ensure it doesn't happen again.

As for telling her- when I was younger I would have said be honest, now I would say don't be a fool as you will be hurting two people instead of one. Get a good hypnotist to do something about the gambling and potentially the drinking and let this be a warning to your self and use it to enhance your feelings for her.
Time has no friends not even pain, it will fade but the lesson will remain. Welcome to the human race.

ausmon wrote:Too me the pain I have experienced in my life has stayed in my memory to ensure that I don't repeat the mistake. Would you hypnotise your child to remove the negative association to a hot pot? I wouldn't as the memory of the burn helps to ensure it doesn't happen again.

Mark Twain said, "A cat who sits on a hot stove lid never sits on one again, but she never sits on a cold one, either."

So of course, once they're capable, I'd help a child who's phobic of a hot pot (or a stove lid) to approach appliances with competence and confidence, using hypnosis if necessary. Phobias suck.

Robert

Robert Plamondon wrote:

ausmon wrote:Too me the pain I have experienced in my life has stayed in my memory to ensure that I don't repeat the mistake. Would you hypnotise your child to remove the negative association to a hot pot? I wouldn't as the memory of the burn helps to ensure it doesn't happen again.

Mark Twain said, "A cat who sits on a hot stove lid never sits on one again, but she never sits on a cold one, either."

So of course, once they're capable, I'd help a child who's phobic of a hot pot (or a stove lid) to approach appliances with competence and confidence, using hypnosis if necessary. Phobias suck.

Robert

Well said Robert, I love the analogy but believe it's not that well suited for en_passant's situation or even for the child as you answered my assumption of little lasting damage with an assumption of full blown phobia(which in a way is just).

As for the cat.
Imagine rolling green hills, paddocks of sharp leafed sugar cane and various friendly, loving animals. Its quite an idealistic image and was(at times) a peaceful existence for a young man to develop. When I was young lad I grew up on that farm, amongst this picturesque scene we had a small herd of loving goats, some chocks, a few geese and a couple of turkeys.

We were quite innocent in the ways of the world in regards to deception, malice and the like(obviously not sex it was a farm after all) anyway we needed another young buck for the herd as our old one was firing blanks and with a bit of searching we found a farmer with one spare. Of course we couldn't believe our luck especially at the give away price of nothing, can you imagine how lucky that find was especially for a family with little to our name.

After a long drive along the windy country road we came to the farm. With 5 kids(poor pun) in the family and three of them vigorous boys no sooner had the car stopped than we're all out running around through the grass, shouting our excitement and just carrying on like young children do with no immediate restraint.
The owner had given us directions to his paddock where the goats were pastured. As we had parked next to the field it didn't take us long for our attention to focus on the said mentioned goats, one of which stood out like a big set of dusters on a male dog. This was obviously the leader of the herd, you couldn't miss the difference between him and his harem. He seemed to strut while standing still and had the most penetratingly intense stare I had ever had been inflicted with(I now recognise evil when it looks at me)

Now, while our attention is all over this perfect scene something was scratching at the back of my mind. You know that feeling when something isn't quite right, somethings off a little....
It dawned on me it was the fence, 3 flimsy wires with nothing to keep the goats in. I couldn't believe it, these must be the best trained goats in the world(what else could it be). Our goats were as loving and gentle a herd to be found but inside every goat is the seed Houdini was grown from. The seed to be free, unshackled with the restraints others are bound by, the desire to be more, see more, be more. To cut a long story short they are just plain pricks to keep enclosed.

As I pondered this miraculous scene I wondered dream like to the fence line and reached out to casually hold on while I tried to make sense of this amazing thing. This is the precise moment I had an epiphany, I had discovered the secret it was electric literately. This does not do that moment justice, as my little hands spasm on the fence my knees and elbows lock with a perverse rhythm, a torturous symphony of pain, shock and ignorance. My innocent dreams of lovingly tended goats so happy they wouldn't wonder outside their perfect life ground to dust as my joints screamed and my mouth locked on a wail of despair. Luckily I had quick reflexes(nature loves balance, after all I had a slow trusting mind) and I found that I had enough time between epiphany's to quickly let go.
As I looked up at my father to scream a warning to all I saw a slight smile on his face and learnt that sometimes things need to be learnt with a slice of pain.

I wish that was the only lesson learnt that day but I had another. When the farmer had stopped laughing enough to collect the master Buck and brought him over I my fifth epiphany for the day. I glance at those steel eyes told me all I needed to know, this was no gentile loving young buck. I realised that there was a devil and he was staring slot eyed and utterly lacking in compassion or empathy. For the first time I came face to face with a psychopath, Satan had reincarnated as Eric THE Goat. Shortly before leaving the farmer told us that due to the intelligence of the goats they could put cause and effect together very well. One or two good boots from the fence of doom would teach them to respect THE fence, yet as soon as the very subtle tic was absent they were as gone as left overs in a Bali fridge.

Contrary to popular opinion cats are as dumb as rocks, I will quote David Attenborough when he said the great white shark learns 60/70 times faster than a cat. Now while he may be saying that the shark is smarter than we give him credit for the flip side is perhaps the cat while a perfect remorseless killing machine is just plain stupid.

En_passant,

what if I were to suggest that you've done this before, forgetting. The memory erase was successful, just as you wanted. Yet you're here, now, asking for what's already been done.

Perhaps "trying to erase this memory" succeeded. It's just the "and stop myself from it happening ever again" that failed.

But now you can't remember and most likely what I'm suggesting is a lie.

You can always choose to do what you came here for. Or, perhaps, this time it's time for that other option we discussed before the last time you forgot.

Again, I may be lying and forgetting may be the best answer you can come up with.