Hello everyone. I'm looking for a bit of advice. I'd consider myself a very chilled person normally however, I've started noticing that every time my fiance and I begin to argue, I very quickly lose my cool and shout. It's like we can't have a healthy disagreement as once I've shouted, the argument is over as she simply will not deal with me losing my temper like this, end of discussion. It's not even that I'm pushed to shouting, it's almost my first response. I'm simply looking for advice how to control this. Any help would be appreciated as it's becoming a real issue. We are starting to make some very big decisions in our life that will affect us forever and I need ensure that we are able to work through things.
Thanks
Tom
I'm a shouter
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by annjonnas » Fri Aug 29, 2014 11:58 am
Hello tom,
I have the same problem, I also shout a lot in my communication with my partner. I hate it, it`s killing me inside, because my boyfriend doesn`t deserve that. He always says that it`s ok, but I know it`s not. So recently I`m trying to control it and it`s not successful everytime but I think that with the more I try one day I will be able to control it. So my advise to you would be to think for a few seconds before starting to shout and just practice your control over the emotions in a argument.
Good luck!
I have the same problem, I also shout a lot in my communication with my partner. I hate it, it`s killing me inside, because my boyfriend doesn`t deserve that. He always says that it`s ok, but I know it`s not. So recently I`m trying to control it and it`s not successful everytime but I think that with the more I try one day I will be able to control it. So my advise to you would be to think for a few seconds before starting to shout and just practice your control over the emotions in a argument.
Good luck!
by JuliusFawcett » Sun Aug 31, 2014 9:07 am
May I ask you some questions
Are you eating the right amount of a healthy diet? (no junk)
Are you drinking the right amount of healthy drinks? (no alcohol, caffeine or fizzy)
Are you taking the right amount of healthy exercise?
Are you getting a good balance between work, rest and play?
Are you grateful to the people who make your life more comfortable?
Are you looking after your personal appearance and your living environment?
Are you choosing positive and optimistic thought patterns?
Are you able to forgive past hurts?
Are you able to masturbate to relieve tension?
Are you able to trust your intuition?
Are you contributing to your local community?
Are you eating the right amount of a healthy diet? (no junk)
Are you drinking the right amount of healthy drinks? (no alcohol, caffeine or fizzy)
Are you taking the right amount of healthy exercise?
Are you getting a good balance between work, rest and play?
Are you grateful to the people who make your life more comfortable?
Are you looking after your personal appearance and your living environment?
Are you choosing positive and optimistic thought patterns?
Are you able to forgive past hurts?
Are you able to masturbate to relieve tension?
Are you able to trust your intuition?
Are you contributing to your local community?
-
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by Richard@DecisionSkills » Thu Sep 04, 2014 1:53 am
tomconway wrote:...I very quickly lose my cool and shout...
It is a coping mechanism. The question, what is taking place in your life that you feel requires you cope? Do you quickly lose your cool around others or only your partner? If only your partner, then the feeling you need to cope is directly related to an underlying dynamic in the relationship between you and your partner, i.e. there are triggers that need to be fleshed out. So, is it only with your partner or with others as well?
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4 posts
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