Anxiety in Relationship RE: GF not always saying I love you

Postby Davey253 » Tue May 30, 2017 9:48 pm

Hi everyone I have never been diagnosed with anxiety but I often overthink a lot of things which seems to be my main issue here.

Background: Just over one year ago i met and started dating the most wonderful girl in the world. I am 31, she is 26 and from the moment we met everything went great. The first few months we spent nearly every evening together after work and eventually both told one another that we loved them.

Fast forward to now, we recently had our one year anniversary but due to a change in my partners job commitments we now spend the weekdays communicating by text (Neither us are fans of phone calls) and then see each other on a weekend.

Now my partner has been having a lot of stress with this new job and has mentioned in the past she can become a little distant when stressed.

Previously on every text interaction once it came to an end (end of day, end of break at work etc) one would put love you and the other reciprocate that.

Recently this has became where I tend to say it more first and sometimes she was will say something like "i am off back to work message later" without a love you.

Now today she was off work and I was in work, before I went to work I ended with love you and she reciprocated, the same on first two breaks. Third break she instead said have fun, last break a kissy face emoji. Then at bed time she said she was off to bed so i said sweet dreams love you and did not get a love you back.

Now when we are together on a weekend if I say it physically she replies with it and I know it is silly being anxious over the fact today for example she was saying it up until 4pm but never said it again, when thinking logically surely her feelings would not have changed in that short time.

Now the thing is, when I do not get that love you I overthink things and get anxious with butterflies in my stomach until the next time i send it to see if she reciprocates.

Now deep down I don't think my relationship has changed in terms of my girlfriend loving me and in all honesty she might just be saying it less as we are coming out of the luminence or honeymoon stage maybe. However i cannot help but be anxious.

For example I am not due to see her again until Saturday and I am going to be anxious and praying inside that she says love you again on a message before then.

Do people think I could just be overthinking and just because she is not saying it I am assuming she doesn't anymore with no basis to that thought?

Also I was considering explaining my anxieties to her when I see her at the weekend but when thinking of saying them aloud I think they may just sound foolish or needy and also I hold an anxiety about what if she did then turn around and say actually she did not say it because she does not anymore. Would people recommend speaking to her?

Any help, guidance, advice or thoughts welcome
Davey253
New Member
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue May 30, 2017 9:45 pm
Likes Received: 0


#1

Postby hopefulcheese » Wed May 31, 2017 10:43 pm

Hi Davey,

Are there other things that give you this feeling aside from your gf? Maybe at work or school?

I've had terrible anxiety myself but it has calmed down nowadays. In the past I thought it was just my ex-bf and I was so convinced that his actions were causing it. But I've moved on already and years after that I still experience anxiety so I now I know it wasn't him. I am currently in a long distance relationship right now and there are still some times when I would feel that but I can tell myself that it's my body having issues, not him. That way I won't be projecting on him.

This may sound a bit a of a different approach but have you tried looking into your diet? I find that when I consume too much sugar or caffeine, I get anxiety. I once talked to a therapist who said the same thing. I refused meds at that time, I didn't think it was that severe anyway. But the butterflies in the stomach that you are talking about, I felt all of that almost everyday with my ex-bf. Maybe evaluate your mental/emotional state first -- this may be a salient situation in the context of having anxiety for you and may not realize that other things are causing anxiety as well.
hopefulcheese
Junior Member
 
Posts: 22
Joined: Tue May 30, 2017 8:26 am
Likes Received: 1



  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Return to Anxiety and Panic Attacks