My Boyfriend Dumped Me Because I Have Panic Attacks

essexgirl68 wrote:I feel i wont ever get another boyfriend. please advise me how to get over him.

First, at our age you don’t need to place the same value or weight on the label “boyfriend”. It is okay to seek out and enjoy the comfort of a companion or partner. It is a nice to have rather than the “must have” of a person seeking to have a family.

The first point is neither a right or wrong, but simply a truism. As we age our emotional maturity and therefore our emotional needs naturally evolve. We go from pre-hormonal, to highly hormonal, to lower levels to eventually post hormonal. This means at age 70 we don’t need boyfriends, while people at age 20 think they might die without one.

Second, to get over him you get involved in activities you enjoy. If you like cats, volunteer at an animal shelter. If you don’t like lots of people, join a nature or book reading club. There you might find potential partners. You can enjoy their company and maybe find a new romantic interest to share life’s experiences. And you will be a step ahead as you will have a shared interest.

When you find your next partner, tell them up front about what triggers you try to avoid.

Hello. Thanks for your reply.

I was honest with him from the start. I was also trying hard to get some kind of job. His energy levels were different to mine. He didnt understand my need to sleep and my "bad" days. He wanted to be out and about all the time.

The real pain is that I caught him txting a woman and my trust for him was lost at the beginning. When my trust restored I was due to have a blood test for an incurable disease. I have now cancelled that. He said we needed to split up but if my test was negative we could start dating again!

6 panic attacks in 9 months i was with him.

I feel so hurt.

essexgirl68 wrote:
-1- I was also trying hard to get some kind of job.

-2- His energy levels were different to mine.

-3- He didnt understand my need to sleep and my "bad" days.

-4- He wanted to be out and about all the time.

-5- The real pain is that I caught him txting a woman and my trust for him was lost.

-6- I was due to have a blood test for an incurable disease.

-7- 6 panic attacks in 9 months i was with him.

So he didn't just break up with you ONLY because of panic attacks. You have just listed multiple reasons.

I understand it hurts. In some sense it is suppose to hurt. Pain is there to let us know we made a mistake. You made a mistake with this guy. He wasn't right for you. You need someone that is more compatible, that has similar levels of energy, etc.

It is hard...ugh...it is definitely not fun. But try your best to use the pain to your benefit.

Yes you are right. Thank you. By writing my reply I have answered my own question. See? I can process information! Thank you again for your support.

UPDATE

just found out tonight he has been having sec with a co worker named Donna. I informed her that he is a liar and a cheat and has a very small penis.

You agreed with Richard that he had good reason to break up with you, now you've given him a reason to congratulate himself that he didn't let it go on any longer.

I would think Donna knows his penis size if they've been having sex. This is very childish and vindictive behaviour for a woman your age.

He has been txting her since he met me and slept with her...so i can say what i like! i have had to have std testing too. I hate all men.

essexgirl68 wrote: I hate all men.

Because you think a woman would not cheat on and eventually dump a man that:

-1- Didn’t have a job.

-2- His energy levels were low.

-3- He needed to sleep and had “bad" days.

-4- He didn’t wanted to go out all the time.

-6- Was to take a blood test for an incurable disease.

-7- He had 6 panic attacks in 9 months.

You think a woman might do the same thing as a man? Or you don’t care? You want to hate all men, regardless if gender has nothing to do with you being dumped?

i know i have issues. i had a full mental breakdown in 2010. But that does not forgive him for txting her and sleeping with her so soon after we started dating. He is to blame. I am healing slowly but it has made me lose trust in men now.

essexgirl68 wrote: He is to blame.

Which of these do you blame on him? #5?

-1- I was also trying hard to get some kind of job.

-2- His energy levels were different to mine.

-3- He didnt understand my need to sleep and my "bad" days.

-4- He wanted to be out and about all the time.

-5- The real pain is that I caught him txting a woman and my trust for him was lost.

-6- I was due to have a blood test for an incurable disease.

-7- 6 panic attacks in 9 months i was with him.

Do you take any blame for getting dumped? Which #’s?