Depersonalization symptoms - age or wear and tear?

Algorithm wrote:Whatever mistake I've made does not pertain to the trigger points discussed. I think our conversation has run its course.

Goodbye.

Okay, goodbye.

For any reader that might come across this thread one day, there is a lesson here. If you cannot bring yourself to acknowledge failures, mistakes, and/or errors in life, then you are destined to repeat them indefinitely.

Regret, while painful, is a useful emotion. But, it requires acknowledging personal responsibility for an outcome. A person fails to experience regret when they believe every bad outcome can be attributed to something other than their own actions.

And there is an interesting side effect. No one wants to socialize, entertain, engage, or otherwise play games with a person that can never acknowledge when they make a mistake. Imagine the person that every time you play a game and they lose, they attribute it to luck, not because of any bad decisions or mistakes on their part.

The inevitable consequence is a person isolated from the rest of the community. Now, dear reader, if social isolation is what you desire then by all means pursue the path of never acknowledging when you make an error. But, if you want friends, if you want an intimate relationship, if you want to have some social acceptance, then don't be the person that cannot acknowledge when you make a mistake, error, bad decision, etc.

Whats the problem here whats guys mistake? İf you dont Mind me asking..

Whats depersonalisation got with this guys mistake? Just trying to initiate a chat sorry if this is meaningless crap as usual.

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:
Okay, goodbye.

For any reader that might come across this thread one day, there is a lesson here. If you cannot bring yourself to acknowledge failures, mistakes, and/or errors in life, then you are destined to repeat them indefinitely.

Regret, while painful, is a useful emotion. But, it requires acknowledging personal responsibility for an outcome. A person fails to experience regret when they believe every bad outcome can be attributed to something other than their own actions.

And there is an interesting side effect. No one wants to socialize, entertain, engage, or otherwise play games with a person that can never acknowledge when they make a mistake. Imagine the person that every time you play a game and they lose, they attribute it to luck, not because of any bad decisions or mistakes on their part.

The inevitable consequence is a person isolated from the rest of the community. Now, dear reader, if social isolation is what you desire then by all means pursue the path of never acknowledging when you make an error. But, if you want friends, if you want an intimate relationship, if you want to have some social acceptance, then don't be the person that cannot acknowledge when you make a mistake, error, bad decision, etc.

You changed my life with that tip.

Seriously, don't write me anymore.

Algorithm wrote:You changed my life with that tip.
Seriously, don't write me anymore.

First, you said goodbye.
Second, I didn't write that tip to you. It wasn't addressed to you.
Third, it's a public forum. I'll write as wish.

For any future reader that wishes to find an intimate partner, career, friendships, etc. the importance of socialization cannot be overstated. To expect on the one hand that you can withdraw socially, but on the other hand attract your "soulmate" and have a family, is pathological, a form of delusion.

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:You changed my life with that tip.
Seriously, don't write me anymore.

First, you said goodbye.
Second, I didn't write that tip to you. It wasn't addressed to you.
Third, it's a public forum. I'll write as wish.

For any future reader that wishes to find an intimate partner, career, friendships, etc. the importance of socialization cannot be overstated. To expect on the one hand that you can withdraw socially, but on the other hand attract your "soulmate" and have a family, is pathological, a form of delusion.

I withdrew from meaningless social events and not so great friends. It didn't move the needle one bit. I will most likely meet my partner in the workforce or never. It's fine either way. You are free to write whatever your want but you have nothing to offer me, just like I don't have anything offer a lawyer, in your simplistic mind.

Algorithm wrote: You are free to write whatever your want

I know.

Algorithm wrote:...you have nothing to offer me

That's what is great about a public forum. A public forum doesn't revolve around any one individual. I don't need to have anything to offer you.

And what is nice about these types of discussions is that they are available globally, 24/7. So if a young man in India or Australia is dealing with "depersonalization" they might read this and in doing so draw some idea of the direction they wish to take in their own life.

This discussion provides them a real example of what can happen when a person socially isolates. Your example serves as a stark warning for people not to go down a similar path.

It could also serve other purposes...

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:I know.



That's what is great about a public forum. A public forum doesn't revolve around any one individual. I don't need to have anything to offer you.

And what is nice about these types of discussions is that they are available globally, 24/7. So if a young man in India or Australia is dealing with "depersonalization" they might read this and in doing so draw some idea of the direction they wish to take in their own life.

This discussion provides them a real example of what can happen when a person socially isolates. Your example serves as a stark warning for people not to go down a similar path.

It could also serve other purposes...

You did quote me though and think you know me, including who had more sex between me and my mother. You stated that my mother has had more sex than me, as a matter of fact. How do you know that? Have you always been a punk? You know what a punk is right? Or do I need to explain that?

Feel free to respond and enlighten the crowd.

And answer this while you are at it: what difference does it make who had more sex between me and my mother?

Enlighten the crowd.

Algorithm wrote:And answer this while you are at it: what difference does it make who had more sex between me and my mother?

Enlighten the crowd.

Individuals that socially isolate, understandably, have no way to know what will or will not "enlighten the crowd". Even as they avoid crowds and distance themselves from meaningful social relationships, they maintain the illusion that they know.

In an adult discussion regarding sexual relationships, the 30 year old virgin Algorithm called his mother ignorant. Why did he slander his own mother? Because she pointed out to her son what he did not want to hear, that a successful older woman that lived 4 hours away was not his soulmate.

Like other aspects of social isolation, Algorithm is without the lived experience. This lack of experience includes activities that lead to sexual intimacy. He currently has limited wisdom when it comes to sexual relationships, unlike the mother he calls ignorant, me, or most adults his age or older.

Given his lack of lived experience, he tries to stay socially isolated while being "creepy" (his own words) towards women he engages with online, but never has the courage to meet. Instead he asks them "screening questions" to see if they are a suitable match for his high intellect and physical appearance. This allows him to reject them before he can be rejected.

And understandably he doesn't understand why this approach will never produce the results he is seeking. Why? Because he is socially isolated. How would he ever learn a different approach, when his hubris will not allow him to open up to the blatant mistakes he repeatedly makes?

Any member of the "enlightened crowd" can follow the same path if they wish. They can choose to social isolate and see if they can generate different results. I don't recommend it to anyone that might wish to find love, but to each their own.

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:
Individuals that socially isolate, understandably, have no way to know what will or will not "enlighten the crowd". Even as they avoid crowds and distance themselves from meaningful social relationships, they maintain the illusion that they know.

In an adult discussion regarding sexual relationships, the 30 year old virgin Algorithm called his mother ignorant. Why did he slander his own mother? Because she pointed out to her son what he did not want to hear, that a successful older woman that lived 4 hours away was not his soulmate.

Like other aspects of social isolation, Algorithm is without the lived experience. This lack of experience includes activities that lead to sexual intimacy. He currently has limited wisdom when it comes to sexual relationships, unlike the mother he calls ignorant, me, or most adults his age or older.

Given his lack of lived experience, he tries to stay socially isolated while being "creepy" (his own words) towards women he engages with online, but never has the courage to meet. Instead he asks them "screening questions" to see if they are a suitable match for his high intellect and physical appearance. This allows him to reject them before he can be rejected.

And understandably he doesn't understand why this approach will never produce the results he is seeking. Why? Because he is socially isolated. How would he ever learn a different approach, when his hubris will not allow him to open up to the blatant mistakes he repeatedly makes?

Any member of the "enlightened crowd" can follow the same path if they wish. They can choose to social isolate and see if they can generate different results. I don't recommend it to anyone that might wish to find love, but to each their own.

You didn't answer the question. I am going to ask again: what difference does it make who's had more sex. You wrote more sex, not sex at all. Now I'm suddenly a virgin.

You wrote the dumbest comment I've ever read by a behavioral scientist, and that's saying a lot. It didn't offend as much as baffle me. That's why I was curious.

Suppose I've had sex once or twice. my mother 5 times. What difference does it make? Is it a competition between me and my mother?

,

Richard@DecisionSkills wrote:Given his lack of lived experience, he tries to stay socially isolated while being "creepy" (his own words) towards women he engages with online, but never has the courage to meet. Instead he asks them "screening questions" to see if they are a suitable match for his high intellect and physical appearance. This allows him to reject them before he can be rejected.

These "women" are three in total in 9 years. One was a catfish, one did not appeal to me once I saw her photos (nothing wrong with that). The third is the current lawyer.

That's not a hole lot in a decade. But yeah I do this for a living... I wasn't even a member of any forum prior to March 2012.

Algorithm wrote:Suppose I've had sex once or twice. my mother 5 times. What difference does it make? Is it a competition between me and my mother?

It’s not a competition. I never said that, I never implied that.

Why would YOU frame it as a competition? Think about that. Why? Because you have socially isolated yourself. You don’t have sufficient sexual experience to understand that sex is not a competition and it isn’t about counting who has had more sex.

Your mother is not as ignorant as you wish to characterize her. You mentioned she made passionate love to her soulmate, the man with a scar on his chest. And she formed an intimate, passionate sexual relationship, making love repeatedly to bring you into this world. And one night, candles lit, she felt his hands and the rhythm of his thrust. She felt him explode inside of her as they embraced.

Sex isn’t some cold, mechanical act where you keep count. It is warm, hot, passionate, and blends emotion with the physical. That you don’t understand this is why you struggle to understand why your mother is not ignorant. It is her lived experiences in the realm of sexual intimacy that allows her to offer up wisdom that you reject as ignorant.

And the above goes for my parents, my sister, me, my friends, etc. Adults have sex. It isn’t a competition. It isn’t about comparing the number of orgasms. It’s about the wisdom that comes with achieving sexual intimacy over time.

The same as someone that has stood on the beach with his toes in the water, they will never understand what it is like to swim in the ocean. I don’t expect you to understand the experience. You can’t possibly have the wisdom of things you have never experienced. Therefore, I guess it is reasonable that you would frame it as a competition.

And this social withdrawal is since 2019. I still took my bachelor degree in 2020. My life didn't fall apart. I still had plenty of social interactions.

But why ruin a great narrative.