Dealing with a colleague who oversteps the mark

HI,

I've worked in my job for around a year now and so far so good. Occasional periods of stressfulness when deadlines come but nothing that is not to be expected. We work in software development, writing code, in agile team, e.g. short sharp sprints of work to build a feature for the next customer and so on.

One guy, who I tend to get on very well with, has periods of 99% of the time being 'the least stressed guy in the world', and then 1% of the time being 'the most stressed guy in world'. Like sometimes, you can feel the tension walking into a room.

We've traded blows, twice now in 3 months. He has a habit of speaking down to me, as I am the most junior developer on the team. Only last week, he was going on about how he has just had a pay rise to £xxx and he now has £xxx after tax each month - look how awesome I am. I'm on just over half of that money, and it felt awkward.

Yesterday, it came to a head again, he knows a code language that I do not, and so I will make mistakes as I learn. I made a tiny mistake once, and got bombarded with IM's, about how it was broken while trying to fix another thing. As a result the second thing didn't get my full attention as I was dealing with all these messages, and that too, broke. This drove him to storm out the room. And then 4 hours of him telling me that he would inspect and review my code harsher, and I have less freedom because I am less experienced. He is not my manager, and even if he was I'd be upset to hear something so blunt. I work on my code skills as much as I can, but its unreasonable to expect, I will never make a mistake.

I've informed my manager, to ask him to keep an eye out for it, but after this, this guy spent another 2 hours going at me, basically about how good he is, and how I need to do X, Y and Z, to please him.

Now the other side, we have met up outside of work before, on more than one occasion, because emotions have calmed down. We've gone for food, drinks, played sports together and its all fine. But increasingly, it feels as if I'm there to keep him happy when he is bored on a weekend etc, and I am picked up and put down at his leisure. I've been cancelled on at the last minute, and also dragged out on an evening to go drinking at the last minute.

I had it out with him this morning in a meeting room. And I said, going forwards that I will keep the relationship in work as its far healthier. There is no-one else in work that I meet with outside of work.

What I'm looking for advice on is the following:-
[list=]Was I fair to ask that we keep it in work from now on to avoid so many arguments?[/list]
[list=]Is it unreasonable to keep all friendships at work,
in work only.[/list]
[list=]Is he right to be spending 4 hours giving me lectures on the fact I made a mistake, when he is not my manager?[/list]

Also, I feel my confidence has come down from this, especially with him bragging about his salary and how much he has left at the end of each month. I just don't want to spend time with this bloke any more and don't want to put energy into a friendship beyond the office door. Is that fair?

Rant over.