Graduate School

Why are you pursuing a degree if it requires you to look in a mirror and release yourself from fear? It does not seem like a very promising direction for your life.

I think it's not the course that's increasing your stress levels. Let your mind wander a bit. It might be something else. What's the course about, if you don't mind?

I wrote this post about a year ago. I am still in school. I like blogging because it reduces depression. Grad school is depressing because I have to work endless hours without pay. I was out of school for 15 years and worked for minimum wage. I feel a little brainwashed into thinking I should just settle for the lowest common denominator and work for little pay and be satisfied. I know that is wrong. Richard asked why pursue something if I need CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy. Weird question. Why pursue anything ever? I don't think Richard has the full picture. I am doing great. Great GPA. Only 15 credits to go. I know that the beginning and the end of a journey are the most dangerous points. I am at midway now. This is the hardest thing I have ever done. Doing an online graduate program requires tons of self-motivation. I have a helpful place to study. I am an artist and want to teach art in high school. I value and know a lot about art. I care about education and want kids to see all the great museums of the world, to celebrate the wisdom traditions which have produced so many wonderful creations. I think I can reach my goal. I have many giant hurdles and challenges; finishing the classes, testing, assessments, interning, interview, and success at work. It's a long haul. I look at my friends who are doing this successfully and feed off of it for inspiration. I have to go to ecampus now. carpe diem
turtleswim

I have never heard of looking into a mirror and using affirmations as being classified as CBT. I did not mention CBT.

Why does it require a graduate degree to teach kids about the great museums of the world? Is there a specific job you are looking to obtain? In my experience, it is difficult to maintain motivation if you don't have clarity regarding why you are pursuing a particular course of action.

It is great you only have 15 credits to go. Do you have to write a dissertation?

I agree with you, turtleswim, i don't think we were born to get a dead end job to pay the bills and die, but what i cannot fathom...if studying for a degree is causing so much stress and you aren't enjoying most of the process, why bother? Turtleswim, you must be a very determined person to put up with that. Though when you mention you care about education, in the immortal words of Mark Twain pop into my head that "I never let schooling interefe with my education." Well, at least you're almost done, no point in giving up now. I admire your determination as what you're doing is something I could never accomplish. Not that I would want to, but still, your efforts are admirable.

I want to teach high school art. In my teacher training program, instead of a dissertation (PhD), I write assessments. I have finished half of them. It's a lot of writing (first two assessments, about 150,000 words, two to go), but it's for an masters, MA. I am motivated. I am over half way done. I should be done taking classes in 9 months. Blogging is cool. I think there is a lot of inspiration available through blogging. I substitute teach at high schools and high school kids love to blog. I am new at blogging. My students like to blog about music and fun stuff. I think it's smart to note that blogging is not just for serious stuff like mental health. Still, good mental health can be fun too, right? I like this Spring. I have come so far in one year that it is amazing. I think this blog can help me with professional development. Clarity is key to critical thinking. I like pursuing a career. Especially when it feels like the right career. I like the idea of good stress. There is good and bad stress. Bad stress hurts. Good stress pushes the possibilities of the doable. I would rather have good stress than no stress at all.
turtleswim

Congrats. Sounds like you are on a good path.

Here I am, online doing my online education thing! As my life changes through this grad school experience, I have to adapt to new environments. I need to stay curious. I can reach my goals by being flexible. This month I have to live at the library and read books constantly in order to stay academically afloat. Some day I will laugh about this, "I remember that day I spent 7 hours writing non-stop!! hahahahaha. I feel well, I'll pick up some $40 reading glasses next month, ciao

Get out of your mind once in a while and stop thinking about work. Try to go for a jog or something, let your blood flow and just be in the moment, enjoy it. Anyways, do you have any hobbies?

Yes I have lots of hobbies. Jog, skateboard, surf, golf, walk, hike, cycle. Skateboarding is fun but I feel a little silly being 40 years old, skating.. I think I should jog more. I ran a marathon once so I know I'm good at running. It is better than cycling because cycling gets too scary with all the car traffic. I should read more runner's magazine to keep ideas afloat about strategic training and self-motivation. Thanks for bringing that up. Grad school is depressing. I felt all day today like there is something nagging me and won't let me feel comfortable. I think jogging five miles would be the perfect cure.
thanks
turtleswim

prololies wrote:Get out of your mind once in a while and stop thinking about work. Try to go for a jog or something, let your blood flow and just be in the moment, enjoy it. Anyways, do you have any hobbies?

This is a great quote. It is exactly what I need, to remember to breath. I have lots of school work today. I can rest tomorrow. Then its back in the saddle again. I went for a jog. It was hilly and I had to stop a few times. I think I can do it. It takes two or three laps on this loop to get in the groove. Running is great because there is no room for thoughts about work. Its a flow state that can be wonderful. Of course a lot of running is plain painful, but with training I can get my PR for a 10K down to 42 Minutes, cheers!

Hi. I can get out of my mind a little. I did. I went to a museum and walked around. Now I have a the last quarter or so of grad school to work on. Work is piling up faster than I can say, "differentiation." I took some deep breaths and think I can study. There are reams of information to wade through. Graduate school is the Mount Everest of literacy tests. I think I have grown a lot learning in literacy types including; historical, cultural, visual, spatial, and media. I will work hard today and get rest and repeat again tomorrow and take deep breaths. I can get out of my mind a little by chance friday afternoon Has anyone out there been in this kind of marathon before and gotten to that "I see the finish line" and suddenly you feel all numb all over? Not a physical numbness, just mental numbness? I have to get out of my mind a little so that I can feel my body. I like cycling. I rode a bicycle 10 miles yesterday. ciao

Now I'm in my first grad school level art class. Wow. I have come a long way. My first week went well. Things get technical in online graduate art school class! By chance I like technology so I should do great. I just have to pace my work so that I don't burn out. Starting stuff is always the hard part. I was dizzy all first week, shocked at how much grad school does and will change my life. I need to make sure to set simple goals so that my mind does not go crazy. Blogging helps because it lets people know that I am really doing this. I am not totally isolated in some dark reading room all by myself. My home town that I am studying in is very vibrant and interesting. I have to avoid all the distractions! I think as long as I can blog and do school work, I should keep organized in my mind where I am and where I am going. Thanks Uncommon Knowledge!

Grad school is hard. I have to find spots to study daily. I think I am doing well (excellent GPA). Still it feels weird every morning wondering where I can study and get some homework done. My house is not conducive to studying. Its not a huge problem but it is daily. Only eight more months of school then I'm done. Grad school is life changing. I have to stick with it and keep showing up. Blogging helps because I can look back on past blogs and see what I was thinking about at the time. I really need library time to get thinking done. Today I only made it to the library for an hour. I can do more hours tomorrow. I keep having to pinch myself to make sure I am really here. I had doubts that I would not make it to grad school. Now that I am in I understand why my teacher in undergrad told me to take a rest before grad school. I took a 15 year rest! Anyway I'm here now and I will just keep plugging away until all million tasks are done in this program. Anyone else out there in school and wondering how to keep from total exhaustion?