Anger out of control

**Posts:** 23 · by **kelley2004** » Wed Jun 09, 2004 3:51 pm

I suffer from a Panic Disorder but over the last 6months or so my anger has just got so out of control it has broke up my relationship. My partner will not be with me alone because he is scared of what I will do next. Iv already blacked his eyes, Bust his lips etc. I dont even like talking about it i feel so ashamed of what Iv done.
I was brought up in a way that to defend myself I have to use my fists, I dont know any other way.
I really dont want to be like this.
My partner still says that I am the most sweetest and loving person anyone could ever meet untill I get angry and then all hell breaks loose.
Is there anyone out there who can help me, I dont know which way to turn, Iv been to my GP and he just gave me anti-depressants but they didnt work.
I dont know what else to do.

**Posts:** 2821 · by **Roger Elliott** » Wed Jun 09, 2004 5:36 pm

Hi kelley2004 - was the anger a problem before you had panic attacks? What sort of times do you not seem to get angry as easily?

**Posts:** 23 · by **kelley2004** » Wed Jun 09, 2004 6:10 pm

Ive always had a fiery temper but iv always been able to control it. I normally go for a walk round to calm myself down or I use breathing exercises. Its only been for about 6months now that iv not been able to control my temper. Its only my partner who I lose it with never anyone else

**Posts:** 2821 · by **Roger Elliott** » Thu Jun 10, 2004 7:21 am

When you have felt yourself getting angry in the past, but have managed to control it, how exactly have you done that kelley? I mean, right at the moment you feel your temper rising?

**Posts:** 23 · by **kelley2004** » Thu Jun 10, 2004 12:01 pm

I feel I managed to control it by doing things like going for a walk, counting to 10 or breathing exercises. It has never really been a problem up untill about 6-7 months ago when I started hitting out at my partner

**Posts:** 2821 · by **Roger Elliott** » Thu Jun 10, 2004 1:12 pm

OK, so you were actively managing your anger effectively Kelley, which shows you can do it. What I'm interested in is how you managed to not get angry with other people even if they did something that annoyed you. Say, if you were having a conversation with someone and you couldn't leave to go for a walk. How did you manage your anger then? (I know it's a hard question)

**Posts:** 23 · by **kelley2004** » Thu Jun 10, 2004 6:26 pm

I bit my tongue and then went for a walk to calm my self down afterwards
Im usually a pretty quiet person, quite shy with people who I dont know. If I dont know someone I wont lose my temper.
Its only behind closed doors that I have hit out at my partner.

**Posts:** 111 · by **san** » Fri Jul 16, 2004 10:42 am

instead of hitting ur partner y dont u hit the pillow?
JUST TRY FOR 10 DAYS.
and i'm sure that u'll b surprised...

**Posts:** 23 · by **kelley2004** » Sat Jul 17, 2004 7:54 pm

Since I wrote the thread, my partner and I have got back together and we are giving our relationship another try. I have not felt at all like Im going to lose my temper but Im sure I will come to a point some time in the future were I will be challenged, if and when that time comes I will try what you have suggested.
Since we got back together I felt more positive about life and Ive not been as stressed as I was before.
The day I went for a psychiatric assesment has been a turning point in my life, I realised what I was doing to the people I loved the most in my life, I was hurting them more than anything. That hurt me! Now I am looking to a good future with the love of my life and my children who I love with all my heart.
I am so happy now!
Thanks for your reply to my post I am very grateful.x

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