Beating the Rollercoaster of hell

**Posts:** 34 · by **Brudenski** » Mon Oct 08, 2018 10:46 am

Hi ,
Sorry for my English writing since it's not my native language.
I was a hash addict for 18 years chronic daily user.
Since 4 months i said enough is enough and i decided to stop.
It was my first time that i tried to stop.
Hash didn't adfect my life directly because i was operating normally and doing sports everyday.
However after running London marathon last year and achieving a bad result i decided to quit hoping to achieve better results in the future.
And since the general idea that thc is not addictive i quitted cold turkey.
3 days later my first panic attack occured and since then my life is hell.
The first month was very tough but i managed to survive because in my head that withdrawal will only last few weeks. Than i understood that is a long long process.
My question is how can i know if there's improvement since it's hell all the time and at the 3 months mark my focus and memory were hit big time.
Is there a permanent dammage or it will get better?
In addition to anxiety and depressive symptoms and tingling in my head and left arm and leg.
Is this normal?

**Posts:** 77 · by **Astro413** » Mon Oct 08, 2018 2:12 pm

Yes don’t worry this is all very normal. If you read this board your symptoms are really the consensual symptoms for everybody. Some ya doe them better than others and symptoms last longer for some rather than others but everybody here generally deals with the anxiety, depression, and tingling. Just stick with it and it will gradually dissipate over time

**Posts:** 171 · by **BullFrog** » Mon Oct 08, 2018 2:25 pm

Welcome Brudenski. Definitely scroll down the forum and you will find DOZENS of stories just like yours and even WORSE stories of years longer of abuse and they recovered. The PAWS symptoms are awful and usually more awful depending on how long and frequent you abused cannabis. There is literally not a single thing that you said that hasn't been experienced by so many others on this forum.

Don't worry it's not permanent. You will recover. It could take 6 months to be fully recovered, or most like 1-2 years. It all depends, but the good news is that you will get well. So read up on the stories. Relate to them, take courage and push through this. As Astro said, stick with it! Don't EVER go back. sobreity AND time is the key. Fight on!

**Posts:** 34 · by **Brudenski** » Mon Oct 08, 2018 2:54 pm

Thks guys for the reply.
I have a question for the old time quitter, let's say i need 2 years to recover i have to deal with this hell for 2 years non stop

**Posts:** 213 · by **Cthompson21** » Mon Oct 08, 2018 6:48 pm

Paws will get less intense over the 2 year period. You will have good days and bad days and the longer you go the longer the good stretches. The shorter the bad. The most important thing is staying sober the next it patience. Time is the great healer with PAWS. Look up PAWS two years on google and it'll give you plenty of info.

**Posts:** 34 · by **Brudenski** » Fri Mar 04, 2022 5:00 pm

With the news of the forum closure I wanted to post on my initial post and thanks the multiple heroes I encountered here to name a few walkinglife ,cleanofgreen, bagabones,Dr Helena, tokes.... and the biggest thanks to biggiesize who from his post I discovered this forum.
YOU people gave me the power to keep walking in my darkest period of my life.

Thanks again for this community and may a better chapter begins.

Thanks again.
And sorry for forgetting to mention more heroes.

**Posts:** 75 · by **Brokethehabit** » Sat Mar 05, 2022 4:44 am

@Brudenski
How are you now 4 years after quitting?

**Posts:** 34 · by **Brudenski** » Sat Mar 05, 2022 5:14 am

Hi Brokethehabit
I will not fall in the trap of replying by a percentage of recovery, all I can say that the further you are in the better.
To answer in a different way I have a normal life . I am enjoying it again, especially after the second year where I changed my mindset by thanking paws about all the struggle that I endured because it made me realize how strong and resilient I am.
And if you asked this question 5 or 6 years ago I would have answered that this normal life is boring. Now I see it as a blessing.
By normal life I mean I go out and have fun , I picked up studying again , I am fully focused on my work etc...
So now I am only addicted to MODERATION.
And a useful tip for the beginner accept the situation you are in without searching for answers and in due time it will be better and better and better....
Hope I answered you.
(Sorry for my English but I am French educated)
Peace to all.

**Posts:** 75 · by **Brokethehabit** » Sat Mar 05, 2022 5:20 am

Thanks for the prompt response.
What I really wanted to know whether you have any PAWS-related issues: anything physical, psychological, social, any waves, that sort of thing.

**Posts:** 34 · by **Brudenski** » Sat Mar 05, 2022 5:30 am

Hahaha when I refused to say a percentage it means yes. Ok I have physical waves, sometimes intense but shorter and fewer in numbers and I live completely normal with it.
For the social part and the mind (intrusive thoughts etc....) I am completely free of them. If they are some I can process them in few minutes so the answer is i am 100% fine.

**Posts:** 75 · by **Brokethehabit** » Sat Mar 05, 2022 12:37 pm

And absolutely zero weed for 4 years, right?

**Posts:** 34 · by **Brudenski** » Sat Mar 05, 2022 1:54 pm

Yes absolutely zero not even one time.
Even when I roll some joints for my friends (because they love how perfectly i do them hahaha) I wasn't tempted to take a toke.

I m done with it for good.

Life is easier without it.

**Posts:** 75 · by **Brokethehabit** » Sat Mar 05, 2022 2:41 pm

Well done!
I don't meet up with such friends any more.

**Posts:** 34 · by **Brudenski** » Sun Mar 06, 2022 9:11 am

Yeah for sure I don't hang out with stoners anymore.
Those friends are my childhood friends before we started smoking.(they are light smokers)
And the act of rolling without smoking empowers me a lot because it reminds me that I am the master of my destiny.

Beating the Rollercoaster of hell

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