Constant mocking from co-worker.

Postby fssk » Fri Mar 13, 2015 10:39 pm

I could write a book if I were to tell my side of story from the beginning, so i'll keep it short and hoped I could get some advice on how deal with the problem I am having.

I work in an enforcement agency and I had this colleague whom constantly mocking me and asking people around me to stop talking to me. Whenever there's new people coming to our department he would tell that person about the mistakes I made before and I am not a reliable person to work with. Whenever I made mistake now and then he'll make a big fuss about it and ridicule me. If it were someone else he would just let it off and even help the person to resolve the issue.

He is a married guy with a daughter and his rank has been stagnant for the past 5-6 years and he had been in service for about 18 years while im just a female in service for less than 6 years. Both of us are same rank. He was my ex Team leader for about a years plus and I had many issues with him, I tend to question alot and showed my unhappiness if something I deemed unfair.

People around me had told me to ignore him which I did but that does not stop the constant verbal abuse from him even I am out from his team. He will insinuate me whenever possible and forming a gang to do so. He tried to pull people in but those people had told me they ignored him for his childish action. However, there's people who would make judgement based on what he said and that really upset me alot.

I admit that many times I did not put in effort to do work and made alot of mistake but I corrected my mistake. None of the mistake I've made has anything to do with him. I usually sit at my desk doing my own thing without bothering anyone but he would tease me when he walked past my desk.

I really wonder why he disliked me so much and I do not know what he was trying to achieve. Still, i am trying my best not to let him put me down but many times it hurts me alot and I tried to hide it. Any tips or advice to stay positive or even a counter-back would be good....
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sat Mar 14, 2015 2:52 am

fssk wrote:People around me had told me to ignore him which I did but that does not stop


If you truly stopped caring about his opinion then he would be irrelevant in your life and you would not be in this forum posting. The sooner you learn to treat his comments as irrelevant, the sooner you can move forward with your life.

The key thing you wrote was, "that does not stop..." Your focus is on stopping or changing his behavior. This is not a good approach, because it depends on you being able to change him. When people say ignore him, it is irrelevant whether or not it stops his behavior. Ignore him, means stop caring, stop trying to change him, make his opinion irrelevant to you.
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#2

Postby mindbodyvortex » Wed Mar 18, 2015 11:49 pm

You have to not let it bother you. I know that sound hard but think of it like you are two siblings and he is the older one. The older one will pick on the younger one until he realizes that it doesn't bother them. Fighting fire with fire won't solve your problems.
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#3

Postby Beloved » Thu Mar 19, 2015 12:34 am

fssk wrote: Whenever there's new people coming to our department he would tell that person about the mistakes I made before and I am not a reliable person to work with.

Serve him notice that you intend to sue him for defamation and slander. Then follow up.
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