Hello everyone. Excuse my poor English :C
But I really want to share what just happened. I truly do not know how to deal with this. I mean, how to explain other people my condition these moments
I'm 30 y.o now, and since the very childhood i'm suffering from insane fear of blood. Nothing I remember could've triggered this fear. Truly got no clue why i started having these panic attacks. I just faint every time i'm giving my blood for tests (from arm/finger), if someone cuts his finger while cooking, if i accidently cut myself while cooking.. Even if i see a movie character getting hurt, or if someone's telling me about their past injuries or surgeries. The least i feel is racing heart, body temperature's raising, i get all sweaty, and extremely dizzy, can't keep standing anymore, and can't even move. Or simply faint.
So, getting back to the topic.. Today i was on a call with my boyfriend, and he cut his finger really bad while cooking, and told me about it (i have to mention that i warned him a bunch of times, that i can't control myself if someone's bleeding). And he got SUPER mad with me because i started having my body's reaction (fast breathing, and almost crying). He told me that it's "IMPOSSIBLE to be frightened by something you don't even see!". And then he got really mean with me. He also blamed me in "being selfish and caring only about myself". But how can i help it if my body just freezes from fear? I have really vivid image of his finger bleeding in my head. I mean.. I was totally fine until he started describing me how deep and bad the cut was. If he only told me that he cut his finger without any details, i'd react normally.
And i also got some episodes of people getting mad at me, because they've just never experiences anything like that ever in their lives! How we say it in Russia: "Doctor will never understand how the patient feels, unless he suffered the same".
So what am I asking for.. Please, give me an advice on how should I act with people, when they are flipping out on me due to my panic attacks?