In the single month of August I ended a long term relationship, moved to a tiny apartment and my mother passed away. History has proven that the breakup alone would have been enough to send me reeling.
But I am really having trouble getting back to ‘normal’.
I don’t even know what ‘normal’ is supposed to be.
It has been many years since I’ve been single. And even when I was, I wasn’t good at it.
I love my job, I’m good at it, and work hard every day. But I also can’t wait to leave at the end of the day.
As soon as I walk out the door, I have no idea who I am, or who I’m supposed to be.
Do I rush home? No, I spend as many hours as I possible avoiding home. Generally, at the local tavern with friends. Not because I need to drink, but because I can’t stand the solitude of going home.
I don’t enjoy any of my lifelong hobbies anymore.
I rarely cook for myself, and my refrigerator is usually bare.
My apartment is furnished, but that is all- nothing on the walls, etc.
What do normal, professionals do with their time? And where does the motivation come from?
I know what I should be doing- working hard, saving money, paying off debt, etc.
I just can’t bring myself to sit home……
I wake up every morning hating myself over the realization that, yet another day has gone by and I’ve done nothing but flounder.
So I ask, how long does it take to get your feet back under you?
Thanks in advance
TD