I committed a crime when I was 14 years old. I didn't know it was a crime and it is a more serious misdemeanor, I was never caught. I'm not going to go into detail because I suspect I have OCD and am not supposed to seek reassurance.
About a year ago, something triggered the memory and since then it has spiraled out of control, its the only thing I can think about generally 8 hours a day or more, and there hasn't been a single day go by where I haven't thought about it. Thinking about it generally consists of unconsciously going over every detail to see if it fits the requirements for a crime or whether or not it is normal behavior for someone that age.
Sometimes I will obsessively seek out information to find people with similar stories or who had done the same thing, and found some, the responses were generally positive, but since no cases are exactly the same it fuels the obsession more.
I know intellectually that its unnecessary to be thinking like this and I personally know felons and people who have done much worse things who are happy, respectable people, and regardless of how bad the crime really was, its obviously really silly to have it take over my life like this, but I can't control it.
The only reason I am posting on this forum is because I am desperate for help at this point, it has been over a year of this and has seriously negatively impacted my life. I am a productive worker and I can play and write piano music and draw, but my progress on those hobbies has been seriously delayed since I often just sit in my bed for the entire day.