Scared of nighttime
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by Lettherebepeace » Mon Mar 19, 2018 5:50 am
Every night for the past two or so weeks I have not been able to get good sleep. I constantly worry over every little sound, and my mind jumps to "brother trying to kill family". I've always been pretty scared of my brother, but I'm not gonna go too deep into that. I'm just scared he'll murder my family (he never hurts or talks to anyone, but he has this eery silent aggressive vibe). He stays up all night doing god knows what in the basement, and every noise I hear makes my anxiety hit through the roof. It's probably just nothing, I know, but I can't help but think "what if". He's scrawny, and has been living here for 26 years, so there's no reason he would suddenly do something. But I'm so terrified he will. I can just picture him pounding up the stairs with a rifle and knocking down my parents door as they scream awake. I feel trapped inside my own home, and there's nothing I can do. I live with 5 other people (not including him) so I should be safe but I always stay up till around 3am-4ish because that's the "safe time" and I have to protect them. I end up dreading nighttime during the day, knowing I won't get any sleep. This happens every day and night, and it's been tearing my life apart. Does anyone have any tips or advice to get better sleep and avoid these paranoid feelings? I can't stand it
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by Richard@DecisionSkills » Mon Mar 19, 2018 2:43 pm
Not sure how old you are, but the best advice I can give you is to love your 26 year old brother.
What does love look like?
It means it doesn't matter if your 26 year old brother wants to be quiet or left alone or distant. It means you go to the basement and have a conversation. It means you bring your 26 year old brother a can of coke, ask him, "What are you up to?"
It means you have conversation after conversation after conversation with your brother. HE IS YOUR BROTHER! It means you learn about what your brother wants, needs, likes and doesn't like.
I know, I know...let me go ahead and insert excuses A to Z right here. "My brother is scary, my brother is mean, my brother doesn't want to talk, my brother is (insert reason)" that you want to use as to not have a relationship with a person living in your same house!!! Ridiculous.
An unfortunate side effect of the digital world is that people can literally be living in the same home and not talk, not cooperate, not even no one another. They isolate themselves and the end result is paranoid people that are scared.
You want tips and advice. The best...the absolute best thing you can do is to stop this isolation where you live in your head and get to know your brother.
AND, I'm not here to say it is easy. Most likely it is years of isolation building and lack of communication at multiple levels. This breeds fear. Regardless, that is your path forward.
What does love look like?
It means it doesn't matter if your 26 year old brother wants to be quiet or left alone or distant. It means you go to the basement and have a conversation. It means you bring your 26 year old brother a can of coke, ask him, "What are you up to?"
It means you have conversation after conversation after conversation with your brother. HE IS YOUR BROTHER! It means you learn about what your brother wants, needs, likes and doesn't like.
I know, I know...let me go ahead and insert excuses A to Z right here. "My brother is scary, my brother is mean, my brother doesn't want to talk, my brother is (insert reason)" that you want to use as to not have a relationship with a person living in your same house!!! Ridiculous.
An unfortunate side effect of the digital world is that people can literally be living in the same home and not talk, not cooperate, not even no one another. They isolate themselves and the end result is paranoid people that are scared.
You want tips and advice. The best...the absolute best thing you can do is to stop this isolation where you live in your head and get to know your brother.
AND, I'm not here to say it is easy. Most likely it is years of isolation building and lack of communication at multiple levels. This breeds fear. Regardless, that is your path forward.
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