chatterbox in the mind

Hi Jackie, welcome to the forum!

I don't know about forgetting about the incident, but certainly you could be distanced from the memory so that it no longer has such a strong effect on you. There's a technique called the Rewind Technique that helps numb memories so that its more like they happened to someone else than to you. It's a bit like seeing it on the TV and it happened to an actor not yourself. Do you feel this would this be a solution to this issue?

andy.

Hi Jackie,

Isn't it interesting how your desire for revenge is actually harming you and not the other person; by holding onto that desire you're allowing the other person to continue to insult and hurt you, whilst they are probably blissfully unaware.

If I restrained myself from hitting some drunk who insulted me I would feel pleased that I hadn't stooped to the level of some low life, and could walk away with dignity. I think your restraint was admirable, especially as you say it would have spoilt someone else's wedding.

As Andy says the Rewind Technique would be very helpful.

Here's something you might like to try, for your chatterbox mind, most people find it works best with their eyes closed.

1. Listen to that inner voice - whose voice is it? (Some people say it's theirs, some people say it's someone else's, either is fine.)

2. Allow, or imagine, that voice coming from your left ear.

3. Now allow the voice to float or drift about four feet away outside your body, so that you can hear it from an imaginary loudspeaker.

4. You have the controls of the amplifier connected to the loudapeaker and can change that voice to become the most perfect, appropriate voice. You can change the volume, pitch, tempo etc.

5. Once the voice is just right, allow it to drift back to your ear, and into your heart. In your heart you can listen to what it has to say.

6. You can keep that voice in your heart, or move it to wherever you wish.

And remember that your inner voice is there to support and serve you, not the other way round!

Best wishes.

Jackie:

You didn't mention what type of medication you were taking. Did you know that "chatterbox" is actually a side effect of Effexor (an SSRI)? Even if you stopped taking the pills in 2003 I have read some people's reports that they have felt side effects up to 9 months after stopping.

Just a thought!

Kim

Hi Jackie,
I know its a while since you posted this but just wanted to ask how you were getting on. I understand exactly how you feel - I am very similar.
I find the best way is to distract myself and give myself something else to think about - e.g. read a novel if I'm at home, have radio on if I'm in car etc, or go and talk to other people. Gives my brain something harmless to chew over instead of whatever the current topic is its using to grind me down.
I wonder if you are also like me in that I'm unassertive, so I can't answer people back when they give me grief, I just store it up and make myself ill. Unfortunately I don't have a cure for that one - I tried assertiveness course and it wasn't helpful.
Hope you are feeling better, and let me know if you have any hot tips! Don't let the buggers get you down.

Hi Jackie

I hope my suggestion isn't going to be inappropriate in some way I'm not aware of - but given that the incident at the wedding happened so long ago but you still wish you'd reacted in a more empowering way - my suggestion would be to take back your power now by re-enacting the event in safe way.

For example, set up chairs, cushions etc to represent the group of people when the incident happened. Make one particular cushion the guest who insulted you. Re-live clearly the insult, then punch the cushion that represents the guest. Hard. Keep punching till your anger at the person has gone - till you've exhausted it. Try and have a laugh at the thrill of doing the unthinkable - that is, actually punching the guest. Then tell yourself you've dealt with it and it's over.

If the chatterbox starts again, remind yourself that you dealt with it - and it's over. Good luck, I'd be interested to know if this works for you. I think it will.

Cheers
Juno