Hi All,
I’m a mid level graphic designer and I have a bullying sr. artist who I work under from time to time. Although she is technically not my supervisor I must follow her direction on collaborative projects. I’ve only been with the company for 6 months now and upon hire I was warned by several employees that she is difficult to work with.
My colleagues seem to fluctuate from being at odds to being friendly with her although they talk negatively about her behind her back and never invite her to lunch.
She doesn’t shout but she raises her voice in a condescending tone. She also makes it a point to belittle me in front and in ear shot of colleagues and supervisors. On one occasion she attacked me with such ferocity that another designer apologized for her behavior after she left the room.
My boss is indifferent to her. She is nice to him so he has no reason to dislike her and he doesn’t seem to care how she treats me.
I would like to believe that this woman is an isolated incident but I’ve been dealing with people like this my whole life.
I was the youngest child and both of my parents worked long hours. My needs always came last to my brother and sister.
Throughout high school and college I was brutally, brutally bullied. I would neglect participating in class because I thought it was rude to speak up and interrupt other students and I never defended my work to teachers and other students.
Shortly after High School I finally discovered there was a word for this “passivity” and I began reading self-help books to overcome it. I’m now close to 30 and the more time goes by I see this issue impact my life. Most people are nice enough not to take advantage of me but some (like this woman) see me as an easy target and an opportunity to scapegoat or walk all over me.
I’ve read about half a dozen books on passivity and watched videos. I’ve tried following advice from "experts" but most of it seems unrealistic “in a perfect world” scenario. It wasn't getting me anywhere.
Any advice would be much appreciated.