Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED)

Hi Angry,

You are asking for comment on a Self Help Forum from people who have been diagnosed by professionals. What's wrong with this picture? Really, to get diagnosed you have to go see a doctor. To see a doctor you need either a lot of money or really great insurance. If you have a lot of money and really great insurance then what could you possibly have to be angry about? Well, I'm being facetious there, but the point is that most people with Anger Management issues can't afford to go to a Psychologist or would rather not be establishing for themselves a documented History of having Mental Health Issues, right? So why not describe your condition and we can all pick it up from there. Oh, sorry I did not catch your Posting sooner. I've been busy with the Holidays.

Good Morning Brandan,

Yes, Desperate788 was right, that I am one of the sort of resident Self Help Anger Management Experts here. Look below and you can see that I wrote a general purpose essay: “Anger Management Short Term and Long Term”. Up until when I wrote that I would address to people the advise that seemed most to apply to their particular case (many of those posts exist down below). But, really, most Angry People fall within the same bell curve, that is, we are not killing people and setting houses on fire, but we are scaring our loved ones, trouble making our careers into dead ends, and knocking ourselves off of all the social invitations lists. Anger is seriously crimping our Quality of life.

Yes, I think in your case it is that you are under a lot of stress. Really, you needn’t blame yourself, not entirely. You see, Modern Society and the Social Infrastructures aren’t really designed for Human Beings. Our modern communities and all of our housing arrangements, from even the swanky suburbs to apartment complexes and housing projects, well, they are all derived from the Model of Industrialists finding shanty housing for their workers. The housing we live in is not for OUR benefit, not primarily, no, it is designed to make us available to THEM. Our well being is a second thought. Over the last couple of Centuries we have grown to assume that the Way we live is the Right Way. Well, obviously not. If we go back into various traditions and ways of living, among people who had the resources to do whatever they wanted to, we find that Men and Woman lived in separate quarters. Early in the industrial revolution it was determined that Male Workers if made to sleep with the Female Workers would have plenty of Child Labor which was really the preferred Labor at the time. We were being penned together to copulate like animals. In traditional settings, men and woman socialized and slept apart except for the prescribed Social Hours (family meals, or social events such as Balls and Dances), and sleeping together was set aside as, well, times for planned discretionary romance, and not just sharing a room with a woman who would hog all the closet space.

So, yes, while “Living Together” seems to be what people think of as a “commitment”, I feel it is largely misguided. I really think that “couples” need separate quarters, and should only mix at times then they are on their best behavior and even dressed up for the occasion. I think people live too isolated. Women tend to have close friendships, and it if wasn’t for their living with their husbands they would be better off living with each other. Imagine that if many women lived together in a Communal Setting, well, there would always be somebody that could watch the children, right? Men could drop by for Supper in the Communal Dining Area and then stay for Social Hour. They could sneak off for Trysts on occasion but basically just see their Loved Ones in small enough doses so that it would not build up into being a burden, a hassle, an imposition. And, best of all, Men could continue on as Men.

BUT, we do not live in my Dream World Perfect Utopia. Men are supposed to be able to live with girls and like it, to tolerate all their fussiness without ever snapping, and to reverse the determinism of Nature by allowing the Weaker Sex to domesticate the Stronger. You know that women really do use it against us, that men cannot decently strike a woman, because then there is really no resort against all their creeping demands and expectations. It is always Push Push Push Push. It’s never enough. No sacrifice is too great to be deemed too little. The Life of a Married Man imprisoned with his Wife is one of perpetual creeping Surrender, a continuous emasculation. And the irony of it is that not even the women are pleased with the results. Just as soon as a wife drains her husband of life and vitality, well, she falls in love with a Bad Boy and tells you that “it isn’t your fault” that “you two have simply grown apart” and that “Dirk” understand better who she has become. Well, that’s just baloney, that Dirk is only the man you used to be before you gave your wife everything she demanded of you.

So, yes, Brandon, none of this can be blamed on you. However, we all have to deal with this somehow, right? We can shake our fists against the sky and rave against the injustice and insanity of it all, but we will seem the crazy ones. This is what happens when Dysfunction has been Normalized, that Healthiness becomes the New Abnormal.

But, yes, Brandon, read my essay below “Anger Management Short Term and Long Term” and that should put you on your way to an informed start into Anger Management Self Help. Please let me know what you think. I’ll remember to check back on the Site here once or twice a day.