self image issus from a love of wearing women's clothes

You are discussing fetishes and self-control.

It doesn't matter the kind of fetish, the key to being comfortable with a fetish is learning to manage it. Like anything else, there are healthy and unhealthy ways. You find how to embrace and balance the fetish as part of a healthy life.

You don't drink a bottle of wine a day. You might want to and many people do, but it is unhealthy. I like wine, but I drink the occasional glass. I have fetishes. I incorporate them as part of a healthy sexual relationship.

The CBT is easier based on what you posted. Find support with your local fetish clubs. Find a partner that is sexually open minded and compatible. He or she will most likely have fetishes you can help them explore as well.

The clothing issue it sounds like you are treating it as if you want to drink the entire bottle of wine, that there is never a time when you are not to be sexual, sexy, or a sexual object, there is never a time when you are just a person focused on some activity not related to your sexuality.

If you were in one of the many industries or professions that wears gender neutral uniforms it would be easier for you to separate out and balance when it was time to put on that sexy skirt verses when you should be focused on something other than sex.

If you truly feel you cannot balance when it is time to be sexy and when it is time to put your sexual image aside, then you may want to take some time to reflect on what is most important to you and redesign your life to achieve what you truly want. This could mean moving to a community that is more open and accepting of what you want in life.