The Stupid & Funny Quotes Thread......

**Posts:** 1034 · by **coach** » Wed Jan 25, 2006 10:35 am

"I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100%".

**Posts:** 1034 · by **coach** » Wed Jan 25, 2006 10:38 am

"The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time."

Friedrich Nietzsche

**Posts:** 1034 · by **coach** » Wed Jan 25, 2006 10:49 am

"I think I mentioned to Bob [Geldof] I could make love for eight hours. What I didn't say was that this included four hours of begging and then dinner and a movie".

-- Sting

**Posts:** 1034 · by **coach** » Wed Jan 25, 2006 10:54 am

"Marriage changes passion ... suddenly you're in bed with a relative."

**Posts:** 167 · by **Lilith78** » Fri Mar 03, 2006 4:51 am

Some Quentin Crisp quotes:

"Never keep up with the joneses; drag them down to your level. It's cheaper"

"politics is the art of making the inevitable appear to be a matter of wise human choice"

**Posts:** 18608 · by **Hed Kandi** » Thu Mar 30, 2006 5:20 pm

"I used to desire many, many things, but now I have just one desire, and that's to get rid of all my other desires."

and

"Oh, I could spend my life having this conversation - look - please try to understand before one of us dies."

John Cleese

**Posts:** 18608 · by **Hed Kandi** » Tue May 23, 2006 5:46 am

A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts"

Tommy Cooper

**Posts:** 18608 · by **Hed Kandi** » Tue May 23, 2006 5:50 am

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any..

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.

Tommy Cooper

**Posts:** 26 · by **aggiecrew** » Thu Aug 17, 2006 9:46 pm

any more/new quotes?

**Posts:** 3819 · by **Smurfetta** » Thu Aug 17, 2006 11:19 pm

Why is going to a singles bar like being a matador?
You have to dodge a lot of bull.

Personally,I think if a woman hasent met the right man by the time shes 24,she may be lucky - Deborah Kerr

Why do men always give their penis a name?
Because they dont want a stranger making all their decisions for them.

Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades,but to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day,now thats a real treat! - Joanne Woodward

**Posts:** 18608 · by **Hed Kandi** » Mon Aug 28, 2006 7:33 am

"If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure."

**Posts:** 14240 · by **tatine** » Mon Aug 28, 2006 10:18 am

Walk A Mile

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. :lol:

Author Unknown

**Posts:** 18608 · by **Hed Kandi** » Wed Sep 06, 2006 2:00 pm

....I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

**Posts:** 18608 · by **Hed Kandi** » Thu Feb 12, 2015 10:29 am

Topic unlocked!

**Posts:** 2008 · by **WonderGurl** » Thu Feb 12, 2015 1:40 pm

"Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realising that the other person is a complete idiot."

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