My anger almost killed me

She owes you.

Would you like to take back your life? Forgive her for everything she has ever done and everything she might do in the future and you take away any control she has over you.

Do your sister a favor by making it clear to her by words or actions that she has not and will not get away with her past conduct.

If she says she has no idea what you are talking about refer her to a hypnotist to recover 'those lost memories.'

I have a similar thing with my siblings. But maybe not this extreme.
You couldn't forgive her for as long as this anger eats you.
You should bring it up with her.
And maybe spend a couple of hours a day smashing a boxing bag
What's very important is that you don't isolate yourself for to long with this anger.
Make sure you stay active daily so you don't have to think about it all the time.

Good luck

marrionette wrote:I have a lot of anger and have never, ever expressed it to others. … The thing is I hate my sister. I hate her so much it makes me ill….
I hate this because it's like, just GET ANGRY. MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY. DO IT. DO IT DO IT. And I just have to get this anger out of me first. Like, I'm going to ANGRILY take back my life and be well. I just have to get there.

Dear Marrionette,

You are very lucky and you don’t even realize it. You do not have an anger problem. Anger is not an emotion. Anger is a response to an emotion, and usually a very unpleasant one. Anger is all in our behavior. If you are not acting angry, then you are not angry. This is a very good thing for you. Behaving in an Angry Manner rarely helps a situation but nearly always makes things far worst. Take your own case with your sister as an example. She is reaching out and being friendly toward you. Would she be doing that if you were raving mad and cussing her out and throwing bricks through her car windows and setting fires to her house? No, she would probably hate you for it. She would hate you too.

And here we get to your real problem, and you said it yourself. You are full of Hate. You are not full of anger, as you are quite calm and controlled. But you are brimming full of hatred and it is making your insides churn. You feel sick to death with hatred.

Your dilemma arises now because your once ‘hateful’ sister has turned a page in her life and has learned somehow to be loveable. That is a good thing, isn’t it? So simply stop hating her. How do you do that? Well, you do it one thought at a time. Replace hateful thoughts with good explanations to yourself for why you should change your unnecessarily negative thoughts and feelings toward more positive and pleasant ends.

Perhaps you have heard this classic story from out of anger management literature – there was once this Tribal Chief who told his grandson that inside each man there are two wolves – one is a kind and gentle wolf and would be your spirit guide, but the other wolf is mean and nasty, vile and brutish. And these two wolves are in constant conflict with each other, but eventually only one can win and the other must die, and then we will only have one wolf, the good one or the bad one, whichever one survives. The grandson then asked the chief, “how can we help the good wolf to win?” The answer was “Let it be the one you feed”.

So, ‘feed’ the good thoughts, and stop yourself when you have bad thoughts, and dispute with those bad thoughts and think of all the good reasons why you should dismiss the bad thoughts.

Now, to your present business, the idea that by exploding in anger you will empty yourself of all your hate, well, that simply is not so. Expressing Anger only reinforces the hatred that stands behind it. They’ve done studies on it. ‘Blowing off Steam’ does not contribute toward eventual calm and peace of mind. Getting Angry only makes a person more angry. People are angrier than before they started when they ‘blow off steam’. By expressing your anger you will be consolidating and fixing your hatred. And your hatred of what, now, exactly? Your sister, by your own words, is no longer hateful. A hatred that belongs to the past has no place in your present life. Start putting attention into feeding the good wolf, and stop planning this feast that you seem to be planning for the evil one.

Leo Volont wrote: Anger is not an emotion.

This says otherwise.
"Anger is an emotion with a wide range of intensity"
Care to elaborate in 25 words of less?

Beloved wrote:

Leo Volont wrote: Anger is not an emotion.

This says otherwise.
"Anger is an emotion with a wide range of intensity"
Care to elaborate in 25 words of less?

My Dear Beloved,

One may be able to uselessly squabble in "25 words or less", but it take more time and care, thoughts and especially 'words' if one is to present a reasoned explanation. Look even that took more than 25 words!

I posted on this topic. Go to my Post; "Anger, Emotion or Physiological Response".

If you want to continue the discussion, we can do it there. Let's keep this post about this person's problems, shall we.

Beloved wrote:

Leo Volont wrote: Anger is not an emotion.

This says otherwise.
"Anger is an emotion with a wide range of intensity"
Care to elaborate in 25 words of less?

Well, agreeing that brevity has its certain intellectual limitations, I thought that I might consider accepting the 25 word challenge.

Start counting, Now!

“Anger is not ‘the emotion with a wide range of intensity’. They are speaking of the Emotion of Hatred, but they hate to say so”.