I don't know where to go from here.
The past 3 years have been hell. My father, who was my best friend, passed away rather unexpectedly 2.5 years ago. My mother, who had been with him since they were 16, spiralled into bottomless depression. Almost immediately afterwards, my family (me, husband, 2 kids) moved to a new country. We both had very good jobs until my husband's boss left and a new one arrived who decided that he didn't like him that much (the general consensus is racism, but we can't prove anything.) Short version: my husband got fired this month after 2 years of struggling with a racist, psychopathic boss. He has GAD (medicated) and his anxiety is playing tricks with his mind. I'm falling apart, trying to make things work out with my job, his problems, the kids' schools, my vulnerable mother who refuses to seek help, EVERYTHING!
We are financially covered for the next 8 months, but things will seriously start falling apart afterwards. He's 40 and has been in managerial positions for years! How do you bounce back from that??
I can't sleep, can't focus on work or family, my smoking has hit a new record, and I sometimes have heart palpitations or trouble breathing. I'm a strong person! I'm supposed to be everybody's rock! My husband and kids and mother are fragile, but I'm rapidly losing the strength to support them.
I've tried seeing therapists. Nothing helped. I'm losing this battle and I don't know what to do.
I'm not a religious person, but please pray for me. This is how desperate I am.