What do you do to avoid jealousy?

KarenYvonne wrote:help me out pls

One may start off by assuming that jealousy is always a sign of a low self-image. if you lack confidence about yourself, and you are threatened to lose your partner to another person, then this will be experienced as a disaster. It will certainly reinforce your low self-esteem. On he other hand if you are a self-confident person and your partner leaves you for another person, this may hurt, but not disastrously so, because you will soon be looking for a more worthy person. Besides, couples who both have self-confidence, seldom switch partners, they seem to have stable personalities.

In order to be successful, in life and love, we need to have an unshakeable belief in our self. A low self-esteem is not only psychological - stemming from a disturbed childhood experiences - but more often is the result of a underlying biological abnormality that prevents the body from producing feel-good neurotransmitters. This may affect our self-image.

Hence we must make sure that a low self-esteem is not prompted by an abnormal biochemical mechanism. This needs to be addressed before considering "psychological" issues.
Please read:

Treatment of a Low Self-Esteem

and then study the self-help psychotherapy course in full at:

Summary Of Self-Help Psychotherapy Course

I don't know if you're male or female. I'll give you an explanation. This explanation explains jealous man, so hence it depend's what gender you are.
So, when a man start's being jealous what is he showing? He is showing his weakness. That if the women left him, he would be lost, and because he would be lost he shows his weakness. And there you go, women want a man that is strong, PSYCHOLOGICALLY, that will take care of them. So what's happening is that the man destroys the attraction and this is why a man when being jealous can only destroy the relationship.
I don't know how much this works with females, but at least this should help to understand the jealousy a bit.

Hi Karen Yvonne,

Firstly, jealousy is so painful isn't it? As a child I was always 'accused' of being jealous. I so dislike ever hearing anybody being told they're jealous.

The way I look at it is the underlying 'longing' to be loved. How was your childhood? Once we can 'see' where the seed of abandonment, jealousy, isolation, anger might have been sown, we can begin to uproot it. This doesn't mean that you may now be sad at a broken relationship, but you might also be able to acknowledge more fully that it wasn't really the right relationship for you anyway.

Love yourself, and see jealousy from another angle.
Best wishes.
Susannah

I highly recommend the book The Ethical Slut. It reformulated my entire perspective on jealousy. It made me realize that it's MY emotion to feel, and my entitlement to work out, it's not really about them.

Feeling jealous is very much just a reflection on yourself. Ask yourself what is the real cause of you feeling this way and what benefits it brings. To combat an issue you really have to confront it, then accept it and let the emotions pass naturally. Do things that add value to your life everyday.

It's not just about me and my dream of doing nothing. It's about all of us. I don't know what happened to me at that hypnotherapist and, I don't know, maybe it was just shock and it's wearing off now, but when I saw that fat man keel over and die - Michael, we don't have a lot of time on this earth! We weren't meant to spend it this way. Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about about mission statements.

Stop wanting things and be grateful for everything you have.

I remind myself that people are not my property, that they have free well and that I can't control their movements. It's hard sometimes to swallow that feeling of panic when you think someone might be slipping away from you, but the truth is that jealousy works the opposite way we want it to. Hang on too tight and it's gone.

Take care of you.

you have to work on your self and increase your own self confidence and self eastem. But for now remeber that jelous shows that you don't have good opinion about yourself and thats a big turn off for girls.

Try to think about something different and concentrate on something you like to do or to talk about. In other case things might get worse.

Did you read Erich Fromm, The art of loving?
It might help you to understand what is going on:

The other question is whether your partner is completely innocent in hurting your feelings.

Jealous is a thing that only hurts yourself physically or mentally. It does not affect the person from which you are getting jealous. we all can avoid it by not comparing our self with others. Accepting that we are getting jealous, by developing optimistic views of other people, don't expect too much about yourself..

Hello everyone, I am new on this forum, and here my brief thoughts on this interesting subject of Jealousy.

Jealousy can be converted into an healthy envy, provided you take Jealousy as a form of attack on humans to which you are always vulnerable. As humans, we are always competing to each other, regardless of our intentions, we feel intimidated if we observe others doing well in life; hence, we ought to rather envy and struggle to let it go and consider it a timely and rather professional envy than deep rooted jealousy.

Think about God creating situations for you to look around and ponder upon your own life; rather than pondering about others success and your own failures.

Learn to trust in them and in yourself.