Stop the lies and vent

Hi im a 25 and am need to vent to someone who can understand why I do the things I do and can give me a idea if I should be worried about who I am. I find it hard to explain it all easily but think it is time to try to understand what I am. Most of the abnormalitys that I have are sexual in nature but I also have a compulsion to steal and lie to a low to moderate level. There are also other things such as a mid level depression that I have taken myself off meds from as well as a few suicide attempts. I also have difficulty talking and understanding the people around me. I'm not to good at the whole emotions thing and don't feel some emotions at all such as remorse. I have been able to create a life where I pretend to be normal and hide my abnormalitys and the people around me dont know any of the things I have mentioned so far. I'm hoping to hear from someone to help me uderstand what all the things that I am make me. I'm hoping also that people can use me to help understand thoses like me. I also would like to say that I'm not interested in meds and face to face for my personal secrecy.