The Stupid & Funny Quotes Thread......

**Posts:** 1034 · by **coach** » Wed Jan 25, 2006 8:48 am

"Do you believe in computer dating?" ... "Only if the computers really love each other!"

Groucho Marx

**Posts:** 1034 · by **coach** » Wed Jan 25, 2006 8:53 am

"I was married by a Judge ... I should have asked for a jury!"

Groucho Marx

**Posts:** 1034 · by **coach** » Wed Jan 25, 2006 8:57 am

"A five-year-old child could understand this!... quickly, someone send for a five-year-old child!"

Groucho Marx

**Posts:** 1034 · by **coach** » Wed Jan 25, 2006 9:06 am

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies."

Groucho Marx

**Posts:** 1034 · by **coach** » Wed Jan 25, 2006 9:09 am

"The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made!"

Groucho Marx

**Posts:** 1034 · by **coach** » Wed Jan 25, 2006 9:13 am

"I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt."

Groucho Marx

**Posts:** 1034 · by **coach** » Wed Jan 25, 2006 9:25 am

"The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit."

-- Somerset Maugham

**Posts:** 1034 · by **coach** » Wed Jan 25, 2006 9:29 am

"We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police."

Jeff Marder

**Posts:** 1034 · by **coach** » Wed Jan 25, 2006 9:30 am

"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific."

Lily Tomlin

**Posts:** 1034 · by **coach** » Wed Jan 25, 2006 9:31 am

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

John Lennon

**Posts:** 1034 · by **coach** » Wed Jan 25, 2006 9:33 am

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards".

Soren Aabye Kierkegaard

**Posts:** 1034 · by **coach** » Wed Jan 25, 2006 9:35 am

"Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach him how to fish and you get rid of him all weekend".

Zenna Schaffer

**Posts:** 1034 · by **coach** » Wed Jan 25, 2006 9:38 am

"A candidate is someone who gets money from the rich and votes from the poor to protect them from each other."

**Posts:** 1034 · by **coach** » Wed Jan 25, 2006 9:44 am

"Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use."

**Posts:** 1034 · by **coach** » Wed Jan 25, 2006 9:46 am

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't."

Main Menu