Hello all. I'm a freelance programmer and I have a senior colleague whose been at odds with me at my new company. He’s extremely judgmental and has made derogatory comments about my race. He’s a homosexual Chinese-American and has a clear aversion to European Americans. I feel like I’m being judged every time I’m around him and I’m rarely comfortable communicating to him or anyone else when he’s around.
He's called my supervisor a racist redneck for being a white Southerner, he has mocked other caucasians in our office and on the street for white mannerisms and clothing and he has generalized rural America as being being racist and less-intelligent. He acts as though Asians are being oppressed in this country and he shows favoritism towards SE Asians in the office who are also the majority - inviting them to lunch and giving them better projects. He is hyper critical of my work and will often overemphasize minor issues in order to attack me. Some of these mistakes are of his own prevarication.
For example, last week a Vietnamese worker made multiple mistakes on a project that rendered his work useless. With his hours wasted and a portion of the budget lost, they had to recreate his work from the ground up. In return, he received a light-hearted warning and my colleagues were joking and socializing with him immediately afterward as though nothing happened.
That same week I created a file that, according to him, was incorrectly named (a mistake that takes a few seconds to fix). He not only reported my mistake to a supervisor, he also blasted me in an email and threatened to sever ties if I made this mistake again. Mind you, there is no rule for file-naming conventions at my company and whether or not I was actually in the wrong is hearsay.
On another occasion, when I was a few hours late to work due to a death in the family, he criticized me behind my back to my boss for coming in late.
To characterize his personality:
1. He’s cranky, angry, and judgmental - like a spoiled child on the verge of a tantrum.
2. He excludes me from social situations (lunches, meetings, etc.) and punishes other employees for socializing with me. In fact, he is so intrusive that it is nearly impossible to converse with my supervisor without him entering our office and interrupting our conversation.
3. He is blatant and unapologetically racist toward people of European decent.
4. He gives unparalleled favoritism towards SE Asians, giving them the best assignments and forming a sort of exclusive social clique.
5. He loves the spotlight and possesses the qualities of someone with NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder).
I know there maybe some skepticism as to whether my behavior is the cause which is understandable. However I’ve freelanced with other companies before and I can honestly say this is the first time I’ve experienced this problem. My last four companies were extremely diverse and friendly towards me.
I have made multiple attempts to develop a professional relationship with him. Almost all of my attempts were shot down. There are two other European Americans in the office have experienced similar treatment. One even complained to my boss that they “clearly don’t like her” to use her own words.
I’ve already tried peace offerings and kindness however I don’t want to reward his racist behavior with niceness. How do I communicate with him without sending him the message that his cranky and racist behavior is okay?