how do you let go of past anger?

Hi

I don't really know if this belongs here but i suppose it does relate to anger in a way. Basically a response i gave to a previous post got me thinking about what makes me angry, and i realised that, i still manage to get angry about events which happened over 2 or 3 years ago now. Is this normal?

From about 12-16yrs i belonged to quite a weird friendship group. By weird i mean i can see from looking back now that loads of these people were quite complex and complicated characters, and not the nicest of people. I let myself get walked over, taken advantage of and unincluded in things, and there was always a lot of bitchiness and mind games within this group, which led to me feeling insignificant paranoid and worthless, and instead of getting angry directly at these people, i redirected it all back at me and began to seriously dislike myself. This carried on for a few years which were pretty crucial years, because in that time you start realising who you are and really develop your personality. I ended up with zero confidence and self esteem which unfortunately has had a permanent impact on how i think and behave.

Once out of this situation however i pulled myself up and am now confident in myself, and i am really happy and pleased that i managed to do this. However, the experience i had has left me an automatically paranoid person, and instead of being naturally confident, i constantly have to work to keep it in check.

Ok, going back to what i was originally saying, when i look back at those few years i get angry and frustrated at the people who managed to do this to me. It plays on my mind quite a bit and i probably think about those people or those years in some way or another daily, (one girl particularly), without even realising. My dreams also tend to feature people from that time quite a lot.

What i really want to know is the secret of just letting go of the past so i can forget about it and not keep letting it try and pull me down. Its been 2-3 years now, but it just won't leave my mind, and whenever I see these people i automatically tense and my confidence drops, even if i don't even speak to them. (This is quite insane, because these people were never very nasty or malicious to me, and i wasn't uniquely picked on in this group). It feels as if i'm carrying something around with me all the time, affecting everything i do, which i can't seem to shake off. It follows me around, either in my thoughts or my dreams, as if its trying to tell me something.

Does anyone have any advice on how you can get rid of anger like this, i mean, i can't express my anger towards these people, or this one girl in particular, to their/her faces, so how can i get rid of it? When i see this girl, i feel like going up to her and slapping her around the face, and i can't believe i still feel like this after years have passed.

How do i get rid of these feelings so i can just forget about who i was then, the people who ruined my time growing up, and the people who managed to steal all my self worth and confidence away form me, so that i now have to manually recharge myself with confidence all the time...?

thanks for reading anyone who got this far

pink86