hoping for some ideas

**Posts:** 4 · by **usdmac** » Mon Dec 26, 2005 8:37 am

hello, i'm mac. i registered today and i'm interested in seeing if this place helps. i'm not a big forum man but i'm desperate because i dont like to talk about it with my friends and family...
although im certain i have depression problems what i'm mainly cocerned with is my anger. my anger ruins everything for me... i'm an college athlete and i eat healthy. most people will coin me as "the nicest guy ever" until they see on of my "explosions"...
my anger, which seems uncontrolable duing the explosion, has ruined my hard earned relationships i develop. i'm a gold medalist at apologies but my anger still scares people away for awhile... mainly girlfriends.
basicly, im really good at making friends and relationships but i always suprise them with my fury inside that a cannot seem to hide. im 22 and i would really like so figure it out so i can move on and be a successful and happy person.

any suggestions?

**Posts:** 75 · by **TalkToMe** » Mon Dec 26, 2005 1:14 pm

Hey Mac,

Ask yourself, from where does my anger come from? Anger is a response to something deeper from which you perceive you have little control over.

Identify those things which make you angry first.

Also, anger is also a way to hide emotional pain such as depression. Soldiers are trained to stop any painful feelings by using anger. That's why when they return from wars, they are unable to handle civilian life because they are unequipped to deal with any of their emotions, except with anger. Using anger to hide emotions only reinforces that behavior in your mind, and when you start feeling guilty for hurting the other person, you cover that emotion up with even more anger....so its a cascading effect. Connect with you emotions and the situation will be more clear to you.

**Posts:** 4 · by **usdmac** » Mon Dec 26, 2005 11:59 pm

thank you for the help. i can honestly say that i'm not sure where my anger comes from though... thats why i find my problem very odd. i guess the hardest thing to describe in my case is that when these "explosions" come over me i feel i have very little self control and that i must act how i feel. and everytime lash out and make myself look like an idiot i feel like i'm just digging a hole deeper and deeper for myself in comparison to my peers... its like speaking before thinking but in a very intense way... i hope that makes since... probably not lol
i try a coach myself but its not working. and shortly after my angry reactions come out i realize i was acting crazy and get upset knowing i dont want to mess up again and again.

however, i'll try to think more about "what really makes me angry" to see if it helps. thank you for your response

hoping for some ideas

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