Very low self esteem & BDD

How can we help you, Lilliana? What kind of feedback are you looking for?

Lilliana523 wrote: I am in therapy every other week but I feel that I need some additional help which is why i joined this forum site.

The same person that diagnosed you with BDD is your therapist? What has the therapist advised you to do between sessions?

Learning to love yourself must first start by abandoning this idea that the answers reside with someone else. None of them do. All that you need sits directly inside yourself. I, Richard, Candid, or countless others can sit here and see pics of you and think you look completely fine. One of us might even think you're beautiful. But what if we did a poll and everyone thought you were a knockout except for ONE person. Yeah, that one person in the corner think's you're as ugly as the day is long. You know what? That person will have your complete attention, because that's the voice you hear. That's the message you believe. You'll say, " That individual is right because that's what I see. So everyone else is lying to me." You will completely self-destruct on the one person, because that's the voice you cater to. It's also a waste of time.

How did you feel about the commotion Carrie Underwood made over her little fall that gave her stitches? Did you like the fact she made all of this insane commotion about how her face was "changed forever"? She went into "hiding" like the elephant man and then did this 'big reveal' and nobody noticed anything different? How vain. How petty. And how irresponsible to her fans who might have self image problems. She told the world what really mattered in her life. She made a statement about vanity that will linger much longer than the craft she is supposed to be noted for. Is that a person anyone should aspire to be? Hopefully not. One can only imagine what she thinks about her fans who come in all shapes and sizes. What a terrible example to make for people who need to be uplifted.

So be careful how much value you place on appearances. There are people trapped in that bubble of expectation from all walks of life. And as you can see, money, fame, and the admiration of millions can mean nothing if they can't see it for themselves. And sometimes it's just about getting that attention which becomes it's own addictive vice.

So understand that looks are an overstated commodity that are transient in value. The people who are praised in the media today will be loathed for getting older tomorrow. Is that the kind of life you really want to make yourself a prisoner to? Does it need to be what a stranger thinks that shackles you to your self-worth? Hopefully not.

Learn to love yourself. Learn to see the value inside yourself. And learn to understand that loving ANYTHING in life must first start with yourself. Those messages are all inside you. Throw out the bad ones and learn to embrace the good. If a stranger knocked on your door, would you expect them to give you a detailed list of the contents inside your home? Of course not. If they tried, would you assume they are correct? Of course not. So why should anyone be able to see the heart you already carry inside yourself? You own it. No one else. Be proud of yourself and leave the ranks of vanity to those who will be prisoners to it forever. That's a race you never win. You ARE beautiful. You just have to own that part of yourself and move forward. All my best.

Lilliana523 wrote:Hello everyone... I am a brand new member of this forum website. I am a 36 year old female seriously struggling and battling with very extremely low self esteem and Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD). My main self problem is my face... I'm not happy with it at all and havent been for years. I feel like its taking over my life and happiness and I am in therapy every other week but I feel that I need some additional help which is why i joined this forum site. I really do not know what else to say at this moment but I really need help to learn to love and accept myself.

What about you begin by regularly telling yourself things you like about your body?

I mean, if you take 5 minutes a day to stand in front of a mirror looking at your body, and appreciating what you see, without judgements, you might feel better. How about that?