My wife has started an affair with her ex counsellor. Help

**Posts:** 2 · by **Rebecca44** » Wed Aug 03, 2011 2:17 pm

I don't know what I should do. My partner of 13years (wife for 1 & a half) finished her counselling - with a lady who I had great admiration for- about 7 months ago.
They appeared to have a lot in common & get on well, although I was unsure, I have been supportive in my wife meeting her ex counsellor over the last couple of months occasionally. My partner has suffered with self esteem issues for a long while. I was just pleased that she has the confidence to drive again, and go out on her own.
Unfortunatly the bottom of my world dropped out on monday when I overheard a phone conversation she was having with the ex counsellor. She said that the counsellor knew that the relationship she has with me was not meant to be, that she has never felt the way she does about her ex counsellor towards anyone else. I have obviously spoken to my wife over the last few days, they kissed at the weekend.
I really don't know what to do next....? please someone help.

**Posts:** 14140 · by **jurplesman** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 4:56 am

Rebecca44 wrote:I don't know what I should do. My partner of 13years (wife for 1 & a half) finished her counselling - with a lady who I had great admiration for- about 7 months ago.
They appeared to have a lot in common & get on well, although I was unsure, I have been supportive in my wife meeting her ex counsellor over the last couple of months occasionally. My partner has suffered with self esteem issues for a long while. I was just pleased that she has the confidence to drive again, and go out on her own.
Unfortunatly the bottom of my world dropped out on monday when I overheard a phone conversation she was having with the ex counsellor. She said that the counsellor knew that the relationship she has with me was not meant to be, that she has never felt the way she does about her ex counsellor towards anyone else. I have obviously spoken to my wife over the last few days, they kissed at the weekend.
I really don't know what to do next....? please someone help.

There is some confusion in your post. Is you partner a woman or a man? The post seems to imply a lesbian relationship. Is this correct?

**Posts:** 2 · by **Rebecca44** » Thu Aug 04, 2011 11:32 am

Sorry if I wasn't clear, Yes we are two ladies. The counseller is also female, however she has been (apparently) straight until now (?)
We have had a Civil Partnership.

**Posts:** 14140 · by **jurplesman** » Fri Aug 05, 2011 3:47 am

Hi Rebecca44,

This is a very unfortunate situation for you. This also goes to show that counsellors may have issues that can affect their profession.

It is difficult to give any advice, but I sincerely hope that you recover from this and hopefully can start a new life.

Perhaps the

Values Clarification Course

may be able to show you where you and your partner may have had a conflict in values.

**Posts:** 32 · by **Lord Antares** » Sat Aug 20, 2011 8:07 pm

I'm late for this. Have you done anything about this or is it the way it was when you opened the topic?

**Posts:** 777 · by **werty** » Mon Oct 10, 2011 8:03 am

1st, did you report the counsellor to her authorities?

Do you think this could be that she sees this woman as having fixed her? Sounds like when someone falls in love with their doctor because of all the attention they give you.

I would seriously consider whether this is a confused crush thing.

I would certainly call the therapist and ask her what the hell she thinks shes doing?

My wife has started an affair with her ex counsellor. Help

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