Advice on dealing with coworker

**Posts:** 3 · by **SallyJames** » Sat Feb 04, 2017 6:19 pm

Hey everyone! I'm new to this forum, and figured this would be a good place for advice regarding my current situation.
I started a job at a small medical office early last year. It consists of 4 doctors and 5 support staff. As soon as I started working there, my one coworker immediately befriended me. She is 9 years younger, but I figured hey, it's nice to have a friend when you are new. We went out for drinks a few times, and that's when I saw the red flags. She gossiped about everyone, and told me to watch out for two coworkers in particular, as they were backstabers.
This right there made me uncomfortable because if she is gossiping about everyone, chances are she is doing this to me as well. The last time we hung out was when she informed me that she cheated on her live in and long time boyfriend with a married coworker (I was hired to fill in this guy's position). I haven't hung out with her after this because her morals do not align with mine.
So she's a crappy person, but I have not had any problems with her at work until recently. Over the past year I have discovered she has a thing for my doctor/boss. He's my age, married with kids. She makes excuses to talk to him in his office alone, sticking me with all the patients. She cries to him if she is displined at work by the manager because she didn't do her job (which is quite frequently). She tells him that all of us females are jealous of her and makes up stories. She's befriended his wife in the past few months and took her out for drinks.
My problem is that since we were friendly, she will tell me all the big mistakes she's made at work and asks me not to tell anyone. This makes me uncomfortable. Everything went downhill two days ago when she left me alone at the end of the day with a bunch of patients to talk and flirt with the doctor. I told my manger about it who reprimanded her the next day. She had a HUGE attitude towards me the next day, so I confronted her about it. She blew up at me and said that I shouldn't have told the manager and I only did it to make her look bad. After this, I knew she gossiped about me to the doctors trying to make me look bad.
How do I deal with this? This girl is very manipulative, has problems with all of us females coworkers, but flirts and plays the victim to the male doctors. She's even literally cried to them. She lies a lot too.

**Posts:** 12131 · by **Richard@DecisionSkills** » Sat Feb 04, 2017 10:23 pm

You deal with it by being direct with her and whoever supervises you. It sounds like you report to the manager.

You stay out of the office politics. If leaving you with the patients is your big issue, that is what you address, period, nothing more.

**Posts:** 3 · by **SallyJames** » Sat Feb 04, 2017 10:44 pm

Thank you for your reply!
It's been really tough. Unfortunately, I have addressed this to our manager and she did confront her. However, she does the same thing to the manager- gives her attitude and keeps doing whatever she wants. I'm trying to remain 100% professional, but it's really trying me.
Ugh, it's been so tough!

**Posts:** 1 · by **Solutions** » Thu Jun 22, 2017 11:31 am

Hi,
Hopefully you are no longer experiencing this issue but if you are or you face this in the future I have a few suggestions.

Firstly I try to deal with people like this by being very direct as in the above advice. Despite you having spoken to the manager about it already if she hasn't amended the issues she was spoken to about its more than acceptable to give that feedback to the manager.

Keep focused yourself. If you let her behaviour wind you up the task at hand will be much harder. Don't do
that to yourself. Doing your job well is obviously a priority for you. Recognise that and don't let this person take that off track. If your swamped with patients and she's in doctors office chatting don't be afraid to excuse yourself politely and pop your head in and say 'Excuse me ______ am I able to get you to come back out onto the desk. We have a number of patients waiting.'
Doing this will show the doctor what's going on without having to say anything directly to them and they may actually be greatful you've removed her from their office.

If all else fails start subtly keeping a note of incidences with her. If you can write times, dates ect.
If she ever try's to manipulate you in a way that jepodises your job show her a copy and she probably will become very nervous.

Overall remember this behaviour comes from some issues on her part that the reality are probably make for
a very lonely, empty, sad existence. If you can try to find compassion in that somewhere the other negative feelings toward her will be easier
to let go of. As long as you do your job to the best of your ability reguardless of if she ever try's to manipulate things to make you look bad it won't succeed.

Work on building a great report with your patients instead

Advice on dealing with coworker

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