I feel worthless sometimes

I don't know but I really don't think plastic surgery is the answer. I think you would be better with another man.
What makes me feel better is doing things that I enjoy. Abit selfish but if it makes me feel good then I am a better person around other people.
I like the beach so I will sometimes **** off to the beach on my own, even in the winter.
Love your self then let others see you for what you are.

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken

You deal with low self-esteem by not letting others define you. You have to define yourself. You only see value when you define that as coming from others. That is a lost cause because no amount of gratification will ever be sustained when you have to depend on others to supply it. You must first define that within yourself and do everything from the perspective of looking from the inside -out not the outside-in.

To love another person requires that you first love yourself. Why? Because loving another is an unselfish act. It requires an understanding of that person and a commitment to see them as they are and as flawed human beings. You can't reach that assessment if you are leaning on them to explain your own relevance. You have to already know you count and that you want to be in these circumstances with that person. You can't know you want that person for yourself if you have all of these unanswered questions about who it is you are. Without knowing those things, you can not possibly know what you want in real life. Seeking those whom you think can give you those answers is not a goal. It's a dead-end street.

Without that understanding of yourself, you are simply on the receiving end of an eventual, emotional pink slip every time. No one wants a person who is unable to define themselves who is more liability than asset. The most patient people in the world will eventually fold under that weight. Skip these wild thoughts of surgery and step back and start looking at yourself honestly. Then ask the real questions of yourself. "What do I want? Who is good for me? Who is bad for me? What are my strengths? What are areas I need to improve?" You need to be completely honest and answer those questions inside yourself. No one on the outside can do that because only you live those decisions, they do not.