Anger from stress

Hi Paul,

Here are two points to remember

1. When stress goes up, your frustration tolerance level (FTL) goes down and there is no way to change that....everyone's FTL is at varying points on the scale, but given enough stress, everyone will break and lash out in anger. Stress accumulates throughout the day, so if your building stress throughout the day, then you're FTL is gradually declining too. Handling a situation when your FTL is already at its limit is nonproductive because you'll be pushed over the edge and react out of anger.

2. Stress accumulates in the body like energy and needs to be vented, somewhere and somehow. It's often vented at someone damaging relationships, rather than vented in a safe and controlled manner.


That being said....there are a couple of things that can be done. The #1 best way to avoid an angry outbust is to remove yourself from the situation.....tactically retreat from the situation and recollect in a safe meditative environment. If you overwhelmed by stress, then it overpowers your rational thinking process which makes you say and act out of emotion rather than logic. I'm not saying avoid the situation of course, but you can't properly deal with a situation if your actions are dictated by anger. Lose the battle to win the war here. Take some Paul time to relax and enjoy things before going back to the front lines. Always deal with the situation using your rational mind.

Exercise is the best way to reduce stress because physical exertion releases that stored energy. If there is no way to avoid a stressful environment at home, then prior to dealing with it, go exercise to release all that stress beforehand. You will find that your tolerance level for stress will go up.

Find out the root cause of the conflict. A stressful home is hardly a healthy environment, so investigate what the root cause of this is and take proactive measures on negotiating an agreement that works for everyone involved. A family therapist or an interpersonal mediator might help work on a plan to improve family communication.

Best of luck

~Tristan