Reason and fix to me being angry at everything?

to me it seems like deep down you have high expectations for people and how things should be and so you are in a constant state of disappointment and anger. either accept things and people as they are and make a decision to either continue bluffing your way through like you have and are capable of as you mentioned how your last year was the best (but then you ultimately hate yourself) OR refuse the situation all together and be content with knowing so. at least thats how I feel. I could always be wrong.

Blame can never bring us the happiness we would all enjoy, are you willing to take full responsibility for the way that you feel?

I know my reasons for being angry at others is unjustified, and that I do expect too much from people. I expect them to think and see things like me, and I know many do not even realize the harm they cause. I want to accept people for how they are, and I want to take full responsibility. But the more I try to do both, my mind quickly fights back telling me that I'm only excusing how they are. An example of a situation that I notice often, and have been apart of, is when people will target the same person only to procure their boredom, or become socially accepted. Rather than being the target now, I'll notice that people will pretend to hate the same people or things I do, only for my acceptance. Which again, this only reminds me of the experiences I went through before when I was the target.

I know my way of thinking is completely immature, but that's just not enough. I want to accept the flaws of humanity, just as I can accept the flaws of my own. I wish I could just turn my mind off when the negative thoughts come pouring in, but when they do, I'm immediately taken over. What I would also like to mention is that a week ago, I witnessed one of my employees at the firm accurately fitting what I just profiled, (targeting someone he didn't even know, only to be brought in socially). I immediately fired him for that very reason, which has actually been what triggered my mind to go off more than usual.



Again, I appreciate all responses, thanks.

Hypnosis can be powerful with this, here's a video I made that can help you to soak your mind with positive thoughts, and the negative thoughts just dissolve, making your own would be even more powerful

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGgnx4f ... YwdCN2DLoN

Your experiences are much like my own.
Here are some things you may wish to try:
For years and years I could not understand why people behaved as they
do. Then,I read 3 different books by 3 different authors at 3 different times,
who ALL agreed that 80% of the population in western countries if not all,
were lunatics! It has taken more years (and pain) to really believe this
fact,but by God I believe it now!!!
I have only recently started to mull over
the concept of being non-judgmental,and this has reduced my anger
dramatically (you can practice through TV and newspapers). You will
find it is the JUDGING that does it.
Accept your own superiority. This was
the advice given by a psychiatrist to a woman who went to him complaining
that so many people were annoying. It has taken a long time to come to
terms with that one too. But if you baulk at the idea,you really are ignoring
the fact that some people are exceptionally stupid,so it helps to whisper
to self,"accept your own superiority".
In addition to above,please get
some books on self-assertiveness,and the art of 'fogging' which is
wonderful. I know unless you've been there,no one can fathom how
terribly painful it is living as you/we have. Hope this helps.
Deepest Respect,
jimindigo

Attunement wrote:For the past two years now, the anger has been much more active more than ever. It's like I want to blame everyone for what I went through, or how people can be. I remember as a kid having to change my personality drastically just so I would not be bullied. I realized that being my happy self saying whatever crossed my mind, left me as a target. Same thing with girls, I remember being ignored and sometimes bullied by them for the same reasons. Eventually this left me shy and quiet, which for a while still left me as a target only when seen as an insecurity. I would often skip school just to dodge the bullying, until I decided to make a change and take control - which by then would have been late in high school. My last year was my best year, as everyone knew me, wanted to be my friend, and the girls just weren't a problem.

I haven't been myself since I was probably 13 or 14. I often lie, pretend to relate, or charm my way in to people's lives. I still know that people deep down have not changed. At 26, I still see the same type of people doing the same exact thing, only in a different way - if that makes sense. In fact, a few years back when I was really down and weak, I decided to rely on people and give them a chance, only to be pushed down further and hurt more than I could take. My dad included, also finally showed me his true colors. I just cannot get over how people are, and how easy they can be when played like numbers. Yet on the other hand how dangerous they can be should you be unaware or seen as weak.

Every girl that falls for me now, instead of flattering, it almost feels offensive. I find myself secretly wanting to squeeze out how they really are. As for the males, I've never met one who I truly could call a friend. I usually end up dropping people after knowing them for sometime. Not as a worry of them getting too close, but just feeling bored and unrelated on so many levels. Lately I've just been laying around only to focus my busy mind on all the hate I have towards everything. Seeing how people are typically either controlled, or controlling - and from my perspective, it's a very sick thing, especially when those who are controlling feel nothing towards those they control.

I want to keep my mind at rest, I understand that my perspective on things I feel is accurate, but there's a better way to understand it. I don't want to keep blaming people for everything that has happened to me or others, and I definitely don't want to have it control my life (like it has). I tell myself that I'm responsible, not for the source of anger, but for how I handled it. However even understanding that, I just can't get over it. There are some that I care about deeply, but typically those who reflect the childhood me. Most however, the way I view them just isn't normal - and I know this.
I appreciate all the responses, thank you.

Dear Attunement,
You present a very interesting situation, but you really don’t have an anger problem, well, not unless you failed to mention that you are constantly yelling at people, swearing and smashing things. But what you do say is that you have apparently figured out to a remarkable degree all of the skills required to be, or seem to be, socially well adjusted. Yes, I know what you were saying, that it feels like phoniness and sham to you, the way you have to consciously and deliberately plan what you do and plan what you say in order to fit in and be accepted by your social peers. Yes, you harken back to the blissful days of childhood when you could act ‘naturally’ – impulsively and spontaneously, well, that didn’t work out for you and you feel as though people in general would turn against the ‘Real You’ and you are carrying around a resentment about all of that.

Anyway, to be clear, for somebody who learned so well how to adapt and to fit in, well, you certainly don’t have an Anger Problem. People with Anger issues just wish they could be half as well in control of their social milieu as you are of yours.

But you are calling it Anger. A lot of people do. But what you are really concerned about is Hatred. Anger is a Behavior. Anger is a surface Response to something that runs far deeper and much darker. The cause of it all… the Emotion from which Anger springs is Hatred. You must see some glimmer of Truth in the idea, don’t you? You were clear enough in your post, there are simply a great many things and people that you hate and all of that hate makes you feel uncomfortable with yourself. And that is perfectly natural – People aren’t comfortable with Hate. That is why people prefer to call it ‘Anger’ – it seems okay to be angry but nobody wants to be thought of as a ‘hater’. But if you want to really address the problem, you really should get clear on exactly what your problem is.

And I think you hate yourself a bit for having ‘sold out’ or ‘given in’ to what you see as having been unreasonable social demands. Actually, I think you should Own It, and even be proud of it. You call it manipulation, but that is an awful way of referring to the sensitive way you have considering other peoples wants, feelings and needs. “To have a friend you must be a friend”, but would you call that ‘manipulation’. Certainly not.

Now, yes, I can see that you have found no real friends, or ladies that especially interest you. Well, that is exactly because you really are better than most people. These expert social skills you developed, well, everyone else wishes they could develop such skills also, but they are simply not as adept, clever or smart as yourself. Ordinary people can find ordinary friends and they have many to choose from. But Extraordinary People, well, they must either wait for some remarkable accident to occur that will throw them into contact with another Extraordinary Person, or you need to attach yourself to a Higher Society. A lot of very talented and intelligent people are attracted to the University lifestyle for that very reason – becoming a Professor of something. It doesn’t pay well, but circumstances of the Job almost guarantee that they will be in contact with other people likely to be as clever as themselves.

Anyway, let me leave you with a suggestion regarding a book I think you should read. It’s about Cognitive Behavior Therapy. The premise behind cognitive behavior therapy is that when people are angry or depressed because of their negative thinking, well, it makes the most sense to address the problem by addressing the Thinking behind the problem. No, there is no churning up the past and talking about Mother and Childhood – all that is ancient history. The Idea is to simply learn how to turn off the negative thinking, or learn to think of something else instead. Reevaluate your thinking, in just the same way that I attempted to show you that what you call manipulation can actually be a positive social skill, not just for yourself, but for those whom you are attempting with such great sensitivity to please. Anyway, the name of the book I have in mind is “Cognitive and Dialectical Therapy Unleashed”, by James Ashley. It’s a good book and very affordable. Read it. I think it might help you to reorder your opinions of other people and of yourself. Let me know how it works out for you.