The little things

Great stuff Rog

Can't quite understand the finishing deoderant can but good to know you use it

Research says that what makes people unhappy is lots of small frustrations and unpleasant experineces and what makes people generally more content is, conversely, lots of small pleasures and satisfactions not the 'walking off into the Sunset' scenarios.

I love the feeling of wearing new socks, going to bed when I'm just so tired I know I'm about to sleep deeply and posting a message up on this forum when I just know the spallling is perfect.

Mark.

Small pleasures are great. Wherever we are in life it's the little things that can remind us we're human and make bigger stresses fade into the background for a while.

Cutting my toes nails, taking a different route on a familiar journey, hearing a song I'd forgotten about on the radio... those kind of things are all good.

It's important to appreciate the finer things. I sometimes try to imagine that it's the first time I'm doing something and try look at the world with childlike curiosity. It can make the dullest task have value and certainly makes washing up more interesting.

Andy.

Zen and the Art of Washing Up, one of my favourites - at least it was before I discovered Zen and the Art of Loading the Dishwasher.

There is certainly something to be said for childlike curiosity, I think it helps to just be there in the moment unaware for a moment of the bigger picture. I used to be a landscape gardener for a while - exceptionally low pay but it was the best job I ever had (prior to becoming a hypnotherapist that is). Lots of opportunities for getting into the moment - whether it was carrying bricks, raking a bed, laying turf or laying a patio. Stand up at the end of the day with a sore back and hey look what I did.

I love cooking too but find it takes some of the pleasure of eating away. Still let others enjoy it and take some pleaure from the dishwasher.

Is there some possible value in these kind of activities - especially when directed at depressive people? From the U'K' website on the depression path I picked up some tips to stop rumination or to disrupt poor thinking styles. From what i remember this seems to suggest geting people to DO small tasks, sweep the floor, clean the shelves, arrange photo's etc. These kind of trivial activities sem to have a lot in common with the small but good activities mentioned so far - getting rid of rubbish, washing up etc.

Why does this stuff make us feel good? Is it just clearing headspace or genuine achievement. Some wise person mentioned to me a while back that it really is good practise if you wish to sleep well to make a small effort to take your clothes off and fold them, put them away, clear the floor and clutter away. I think they may have been into Feng Shui, cannot remember now. The theory was to declutter the mind/thoughts as you do so. Seems to fit this discussion.

All the best and dont argue over who does the washing up tonight...

Ant

what makes me really happy

1) when i make others happy or help them get through somehting, this can make me feel much more at ease

2) Cleaning my bedroom and the cooker, i cleaned the cooker the other day for the first time (someone else usually does it) but it made me feel really good.

have to think about what else

No. You are all too young to remember!

I like Tuesday mornings. That's (usually) my quiet morning. Everyone else leaves the house, and this silence descends (except for the cats!). It's so peaceful! I sit for half an hour in my Ikea armchair, looking out at the tree I can see from the window. I might meditate. Or not. Mostly I just enjoy sitting there not doing anything.

And then there's nothing like curling up under the duvet with a really good book. Recently I have loved Monica Ali's "Brick Lane", and Manda Scott's "Dreaming the Eagle" (about Boudicca).

And I love looking at a painting I bought by David Joy. It gives me pleasure every single day.

In fact, I'm having so much fun, when you put it all together, I'm in danger of thinking my life is perfect!

Kathleen

What a brilliant thread this is - makes me feel like bursting into song. Julie Andrews or Dana? I can't quite decide.

Looking out of a newly cleaned window
Watching the dog dreaming he's running
Taking my shoes off after a really long walk
The feeling of finishing a really good book

Mary

Waking up, opening the shutter and realize you can't see outside because the sun is shining so brightly today

Finding that your order was packed with bubble wrap and nervously popping every single last one of them

Arriving at a red light, slowing down, and snaping your fingers hoping the light will magically turn green, listening to your magic... and it worked!!!

Observing the guy who didn't let you pass 2 minutes ago argue with the police because he was going too fast. As you pass near him, wave and smile

Everyday when I leave work :):)

I worked with a depressed guy who earned mega bucks, was flown around the world constantly and had beautiful women throwing themselves at him. He seemed to gain little pleasure from all this however.

When I asked him what did give him pleasure he said he could think of a time when he fixed up an old car for a friend who really needed his help.

He decided to 'downsize' and jacked in the old 'cynical rat race' and, for much less money fix up old cars.

It's what makes him happy. Sometimes the things that are suppossed to make us content just don't. Follow the dream

Excellent topic.
It's unfortunate that people do seem to forget the simple things that can lift them, and they happen almost everyday.

Here's a few of mine.

Recycling, especially bottles, when i take them to the bottle bank i get great pleasure out of pushing them a little to hard through the opening of the bin. I love the sound of breaking glass (there's a song in there somewhere, if you are old enough to remember).

Being the first in the house to open, and use a new bar of soap?

Seeing the first bumble bee of the year

And last but not least, hearing my children laugh.
If they could only bottle that

Hi Everyone,

I like clearing stuff out for the charity shop, recycling and the dump. It feels as if I'm getting rid of negative clutter and the space that it creates feels good.

I get a similar feeling when I tidy my desk. If I see a muddle, my thoughts tend to be the same but when there is space on my desk, my thoughts are much clearer.

Hearing a bird singing loudly, as if it hasn't a care in the world, also cheers me up, as does hearing the first cuckoo, which means that long, light summer evenings are not far away.

This is a great thread Roger, I feel better just thinking about these things!

Marylin

I totally agree that it's the small things that make a big difference. There are loads of little things that make me feel happy - like getting into my own bed at the end of a busy day - especially if I've just changed the sheets and they still smell laundry fresh. I also love a ream of brand new, white paper. It's so clean and full of possiblities/potential.

Whenever life gets hectic, I like this, which takes about one minute. ANYONE can afford just one minute...

Stop what you are doing, sit down either outside, or looking out of a window. Sit still. Breath slow, even breaths counting 'one' for each in-breath and 'two' for each out breath. Do this (one, two) for 10 breaths, while watching out of the window. Just notice what is out there - a cloud moving in the sky, a person walking by, a tree moving in the breeze, a bird flying past, an open flower. Life is going on all around us. This technique seems to slow down time and help us focus on the simple pleasures of nature.

That's really nice Bridget!

It's true, doing an exercise like that only takes a couple of minutes.

I like going to cafes sometimes on my own and watching the world as I read and sip a hot drink. And occassionally I go to the cinema alone, it's good to walk out of the theatre in a slight trance state and not feel the need to pull the film apart with a friend.

Andy.

When i'm not helping people through things, my other job is car valeting. It is one of the most satisfying jobs around - when every impurity is removed and underneath lies a beautifully crafted, smooth car without a speck of dirt on it whatsoever. I can never get tired of that, ever.

The other most satisfying thing i like to hear are the words "Thanks, man. That really helped and i know who i can turn to next time i need some support." That's so warming.

Here's another...

I love cooking most of the time, but there's nothing better that making a new recipe. And even better if you have no idea what it will taste like.

Take last night for example - Hyderabadi lamb with orange. Now how could you imagine what that would taste like? Creative, absorbing, satisfying. What more could you ask for?

Oh, did it taste good? Well no, not really.