Hi!
I'll just start by getting straight into it. I'm shy, but at the same time, I like interacting with people, within reason, and quite love putting myself out there, I do it alot. I've made friends by doing it, but the thing that lets me down is that I'm constantly overthinking in social situations and trying to please other people. I'm not loud or wildly extroverted, and not to blow my own trumpet, but I'm quite flamboyant in a kind of reserved way, I like to think I have a good sense of humour; I was always the class clown at school, in a good way. I live for laughter. These good points of mine are constantly pulled back by my bad points, though; my overthinking and doubting of myself.
When talking to that someone I've just met or don't know well, or even people I do know really well, I overthink, my mind scrambling for something to say, and put massive pressure on myself. It's as if I'm trying to be the 'right' guy; for example, I'll internally panic a bit, my mind thinking "What if they think I'm not confident enough, or too shy, or something else?" All of this puts a leash on that sense of humour and flamboyance that I mentioned above. It gets pulled back, like I'm unable to bring it out because I'm overthinking so much; I can't be myself properly.
It's demoralising. Afterwards, I'll think to myself "I should have done this better, I should have been more confident" and put the entire thing down to a failure on my part.
I'm in the process of getting counselling for this, but in addition, are there any little tips anyone has, or pieces of advice, perhaps from their own experiences? I'd appreciate it alot.
Many thanks!