Trained to be compliant from birth?

I am 53 and have just realized in the last few years that I am surrounded by users. My mother wants me to tell her how sorry I am for every bad thing that has ever happened to her. Literally cannot have a conversation without her going that way, even after repeated requests to keep it positive. My sister had the hots for my husband for years, to the point if someone asked me how we met, she would talk over me about how she met him. wt??

I always knew that if my parents were fighting to stay away from my dad because I was going to get hit for whatever little infraction he could find, sometimes just being in the way. And sitting in a restaurant with all the family, in my forties. To make conversation I talked about how they had found the stone casket with Jesus son of Joseph on it. He told me, we aren't gonna talk about that, shut up.

I was stunned. Everyone acted like it was no big deal. Then a few years ago we had a going away party for my son. He chose a friends pond at the back of a field. The road back there was terrible so we put signs, call this number and a truck will pick you up. My dad pulled up with his little car and I could see and feel his fury.

I told the woman beside me, I'm going to get my donkey chewed. I didn't realize until afterward that I was literally curling up on the bench. And that woman turned around and as my dad advanced, marched towards us, she gave him a look. I thought, wow, she sees it too. It isn't just me. She literally stopped him in his tracks, like he was Hyde and she made him Jeckyl.

At that point I stopped reacting and started listening and watching. My dad actually improved after someone else, bless her, made him stop and realize that SHE saw him and it wasn't pretty. Had another Angel and her sister who verified for me that yes, the way my sister was touching my husband was inappropriate and that yes, my bil saw them too. I have had conversations with my husband and my sister for years about how I felt about their relationship. They both have always told me it's my problem they aren't doing anything wrong.

My sister and I argue by text and I finally told her I didn't need to put my hands on her spouse to talk to him she texted back, 'I don't want to talk to you anymore'. That told me all I needed to know.