Intentionally urinating during arguments

**Posts:** 3 · by **Emmma** » Thu Jan 02, 2020 4:31 am

My partner is about to get divorced from his japanese wife. Recently he told me about her odd and disturbing behavior. For example did she urinate on the bedroom floor of their 9 years old daughter cos she wouldn't clean up hear room properly (in her eyes). On another occasion, when he told her that he wanted a divorce she did it again in the living room. She also screamed and tore clothes apart before throwing him out (for the day, he wants to live with his children and it's his apartment). In general she has problems with social interaction and relationships. She hasn't got friends and also doesn't really have a real relationship with the kids, apart from wanting them to do chores and learn all the time. There is rarely an occasion that is loving or just for fun. She also doesn't play with them. She only cares about her singing and wants that everything in the house is done as she says or else. One can't really talk about problems with her. She doesn't say what she thinks or wants.

Is that a psychological problem? An underlying condition? I mean...he suspects a bit of autism, maybe? Or what else could it be? I couldn't find anything about grown adults intentionally urinating during arguments. This is so weird. And no, im not trolling. I'm as baffled about this as you.

Thanks in advance!
Emma

**Posts:** 9885 · by **Candid** » Thu Jan 02, 2020 8:39 am

Emmma wrote:And no, im not trolling. I'm as baffled about this as you.

I am not baffled. You are trolling.

**Posts:** 3 · by **Emmma** » Thu Jan 02, 2020 11:48 am

Candid wrote:
Emmma wrote:And no, im not trolling. I'm as baffled about this as you.

I am not baffled. You are trolling.

I‘m not. There are children with this behaviour. Mostly foster care and adoption cases. There is tons to read about that. I didn‘t find anything about adults though. Just because you have never heard about it, doesn‘t make it less true. If you havn‘t got anything worthwhile to add then why respond at all?

**Posts:** 12131 · by **Richard@DecisionSkills** » Thu Jan 02, 2020 1:33 pm

Emmma wrote: Recently he told me about her odd and disturbing behavior.

He told you about it.

My guess is that you don't know this woman. At best you might have met her once or twice? I think my guess is reasonable. Most often the mistress doesn't have much contact with the wife.

So you have a man that is your "partner" providing you with negative stories about his wife. Okay. That is extremely common.

And now you wish to take these stories and psychologically diagnose the woman. Why?

What purpose does it serve for you?

**Posts:** 3 · by **Emmma** » Thu Jan 02, 2020 2:36 pm

He told you about it.

Yes, because it's affecting him, his children and how to go about the future.

Most often the mistress doesn't have much contact with the wife.

Wow, speculating much, huh? I'm not the mistress. They are separated.

So you have a man that is your "partner" providing you with negative stories about his wife. Okay. That is extremely common.

Yes, guess what, adults talk to each other, about their problems about what is going on in their life. Nothing weird about that. And it's not like he went into dirty details. Talking about problems is actually healthy and gives a chance to get an outside perspective on things.

And now you wish to take these stories and psychologically diagnose the woman. Why? What purpose does it serve for you?

They are not stories. It's what has happened in a dysfunctional relationship. And why do I care? Cos I'm trying to figure out how to deal with her in the future, how to help my partner! get to the bottom of this behaviour and thus give him something on hand to help him interact with her in a way that it doesn't affect him as it did before...to see things in a different light. Also, I don't want to see her in a bad light. There is no malicious intend in this, just trying to understand it. If you see this as malicious it is your assumption and yours alone. It has got nothing to do with my reasons.

I did some further research and the only thing I came across is some form of Elimination Disorder.
I get the impression that this forum is not for me. I wanted to know if this is purely a behavioral thing or if it goes deeper. As it seems I'm not going to get any answers here. But thank you anyway.

**Posts:** 12131 · by **Richard@DecisionSkills** » Thu Jan 02, 2020 3:13 pm

Emmma wrote: Cos I'm trying to figure out how to deal with her in the future...

You don't. Your role is to deal with your partner, not her.

I will repeat because it is worth reinforcing. You don't deal with her. That is NOT your role in life.

Understand?

I doubt it.

I don't give a c#$@ if you have been told that his wife is a bipolar, narcissistic, hypochondriac, chain smoker, with autism. You don't need to research or diagnose or dig around on the Internet for answers on how to deal with any of her issues. Her issues, whatever they might be, are not your problem and none of your business.

"But, but, but, I want to support my partner," you say.

Learn to support him by being a good little mistress. When he is stressed about his wife you don't need to play therapist unless it is to dress up like one for his enjoyment.

Your motives are pure bs. Anyone can see it from a mile away.

Certainly you need not appreciate my words of wisdom. Stay out of it. Use your time in other, more healthy pursuits in life.

You are more than welcome to go to a forum where they will stroke your bs and feed you what you wish.

**Posts:** 3019 · by **tokeless** » Thu Jan 02, 2020 4:57 pm

Hi,
Wow, speculating much, huh? I'm not the mistress. They are separated.

Unless it was agreed in the separation that they could see other people then you are his mistress. He's still married to her legally. I'd let him deal with this as it's his to do so. He may not, but that should tell you something. It's not your role to fix this imo

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