I was afraid ot open up and let her in now she is in relatio

There is a girl who was interested/liked me a year ago. We kept in contact for some time. I also liked her (i still do, a lot). We havent spoken for a year now but i was always happy seing her in University.

Now i realised i was just afraid to open up, show my true self and let her in my life. I had totally wrong mindset about everything till now (maybe i was just overthinking everything instead of going with the flow - i never had relationship before that). 2 months ago i wanted to get back in touch with her but i saw she has a girlfriend. im really depresssed, and I cant imagine someone else loving and touching her. And even worse, the girl shes dating left me for no reason couple of years ago ( we werent together but i got attached anyway).

This situation is just horrible for me.

.I am lesbian and its really hard to find a girl you like and that likes you (trust me). I have troubles waking up every morning, im not in mood to do things i always liked to do, im searching for meaning of life every single day. Ive been single my whole life (im 22). I made one mistake - was focusing too much on the wrong things at the wrong time - and with that lost everything i ever wished for in my life. I always liked her/wanted to be with her but i realised it too late.

I havent told her anything because shes in relationship now (she probably thought/thinks i dont care for her but i was just confused about everything in my life). Should i tell her aynthing(not expecting anything just to keep my innner peace and for her to know what was going on with me) and then move on or better stay quiet?

How to find the meaning of life again? I really dont believe ill ever find a girl ill like that much again. She is just everything i ever wished for and lost her for such bullshits.

Excuse my english.