Philoctetes wrote: during confinement 600 euros per month. More or less 20 joints a day. It destroyed our relationship and yet I loved him deeply.
I feel sorry for him as well as for you!
Some people are very easily addicted to substances or dangerous activities. I'm one of them, and I know how much worse these things get while our movements are restricted and there's no end in sight. It's an anxious time, and if your partner isn't working or is working at home, I understand his frustration.
Please note I'm NOT suggesting you can help him or that you should stay with him.
he went to a trip because he said he needed a new scene to stop. He promised he would return clean. Of course, it was not true.
I think it very likely he
intended it to be true, but 20 joints a day takes up a bit of time, and what does someone do when a time-consuming habit is removed? If you've never been addicted to anything you possibly wouldn't know
addiction is in the mind at least as much as in the body. The whole focus is on NOT doing something, and the thought of that something gets more insistent all the time.
So for your partner I recommend he get busy, because I know I smoked (cigarettes) much less before the office closed in March last year and I continued working at home. That raises another useful observation: I never smoked in the office because I never
had smoked in the office; I went outside two or three times in the course of a day. But if I'm working in my own space, why wouldn't I have an ashtray on my desk? Then at the end of a day I look at how many butts are there and I'm shocked.
Much of addiction is about associations and triggers. He smokes because he can, and because every smoke has a dual function: it soothes his anxiety and at the same time it increases the likelihood that he'll do it again.
Richard is addressing you and asking you to consider why you were attracted to your partner, in the hope that you won't make a similar choice in the future. I'm seeing it from the other side: he won't stop unless he has a major change in his lifestyle. You leaving him is unlikely to be that change, because it just increases the empty space in his life.