Emotional numbness, Nov motivation

Hello

I'm 28, I came back from army training back in October of 2014. I have gained roughly 70 lbs since than. (was 195, now 265). Yes...its a lot.
Obviously, my unit has been on me about this drastic weight gain, they are not going to kick me out, but, I don't get promoted, go to classes,
get tuition money, etc. Although they could kick me out if they wanted to.

But all in all, that is not the problem here. The problem here is my mental status. Emotional numb mixed with depression and anxiety. Yes,
I know I'm not the only one dealing with this, but the fact that I don't have anybody to talk to about this with doesn't help.

Since I returned from the army, I've become such a loner, it scares me. I adopted a dog, and I mainly spend most of my off time, at home
alone, watching tv or playing video games or even walking around my house dazed and confused half the time, because I fight with myself
over doing the most simple thing such as go to the store and buy something I need, or clean my APT.

I moved about an hour away from my family, family life wasn't helping, possibly the cause of all this.
Now I can think a little bit better, but its still not enough yet.

I've quit talking to all my old friends when i came back from army training, due to bullying and lack of respect....I needed to change from that. I
was a huge victim of bullying in highschool, not so much physically but emotionally....growing up from grade school, I've always had problems talking
to people and making friends let alone getting a girl. Growing up, I haven't really had one good friend that respected me....that kind of changed recently,
ive made friends with one person who is younger than me by like 6 years, age doesn't matter but it still kind of bothers me......

This guy is a pretty good friend, but he has a fiance and takes care of her two kids, not much time to hang out, and hes whipped so that's a never unless
he has his girl and her kids with him... again, not the most ideal situation. Not that I mind every now and again, but its all the time.

I know I need to make more friends, but I don't know how, I don't even want to really. I just know I'm missing out on life and I can feel it deep down inside,
I have many issues i need to workout in my head, so many....Every time I try to be friendly with people, my brain shuts down and I got into ******* mode.
I smile and act like nothing, but deep down, I hate talking to people, its an uneasy feeling that i can't escape. I overthink conversations and it just turns into
this awkward silence...no matter who or what it is, except of course my one friend.

Anyways to wrap things up, I need to lose weight desperately, I have done a lot on my own now to lose it in the past 4 weeks, such as,
Cutting out sweets like cookies, brownies, etc, cutting down on soda, cutting out frappes and other fatty drinks and not eating out nearly as much.
I have also been going to the gym 3-4 times a week, doing a lot of cardio and high rep lifting, 6-7 exercises 3 sets of 12 each w/o session, which includes
30 min of cardio at least.

I still have not lost much weight yet, but i think that because I'm going through that muscle building stage first. I've lost 100 lbs before, so I know how that works
to an extent.

Any advise on how to get my mental status back and find myself? Therapy is out of the question right now....insurance plan sucks now beginning 2016. I was diagnosed
with PTSD from my childhood when I was seeing one. It didn't help much, just more money wasted.