Depressed yet positive?

That url line-wrapped - for convenience this will get you there too:

http://tinyurl.com/2763d

Regards,

Milamber

... yes yes, second sign of madness etc...

Just wanted to add some details in the hope I'll get a response.

Does this sound like depression (many of these paraphrased from the Depression Learning Path):

1. Decreased interest in many activities.
2. Weight gain, despite recently reactivited exercise regime
3. Insomnia, coupled with inability to wake at normal or regular hours
4. Fatigue and loss of energy nearly every day (which impacts exercise regime)
5. Severely diminished ability to think or concentrate every day - especially in work related matters.
6. Short-term memory problems (esp. "working memory")
7. Wildly varying apetite (eat barely anything one day, then too much next day).
8. Frequent tightness in jaw muscles, causing light teeth grinding even during waking hours (probably during sleep too).
9. Lots of dreams, many disturbing

However, outlook is generally positive - although impact on work is worrying and stressful. Not overly sad or melancholy - except increasingly feel bad about the affects of the above. Not too much b&w thinking, although considering leaving job for another that is more engaging.

Oh, and a long-distance relationship is possibly affecting the "basic needs".

Any thoughts?

Regards,

Milamber

Hi milamber!

You have put up some interesting posts recently!

I wonder if your question here is more about trying to fit yourself exactly into the pigeonhole "depression"? Depression is a varying mix of things, and sometimes we get carried away with trying to pin it down precisely instead of concentrating on meeting those basic needs!

Actually, when I was depressed, I also had an underlying positive sense, and always thought I would get better, even if it seemed to take a bloody long time coming! So glad those days are past...

Kathleen

Thanks for your reply Kathleen,

Who said it was me that had the problem?
Let's just say it's, um, a "friend"?

Ok ok... so I went to see my GP yesterday about some of those symptoms, which I have had several times of late, usually associated with some physical illness too (most ear infection, which I am prone to). This time round they have been going on for about 3-4 weeks!
He suggested that I might be depressed, which I didn't think was likely because, although I was severely depressed before I pulled myself out of it and set in motion some thinking patterns that I thought should pretty much guarantee that it doesn't come back.
Maybe that is overconfident, but I still have that predominant positivity. However, putting those symptoms down in black & white does seem to match the profile. It's not so much about pigeonholing as understanding what is causing these symptoms so I can do something about it! Before I considered the possibility of depression I was concentrating on the symptoms - especially the concentration issues. My attempts to overcome those have been met with frustration and worry, as well as stress because of the way its affecting my work. I wouldn't say I'm ruminating on this constantly but I suppose if it is depression then that can't be helping.
What I really want is to overcome these symptoms - just about all of them are affecting my quality of life at the moment. I am also starting to worry that they are going to affect my upcoming marriage. I really want to send these things, or at least most of them, into remission before that happens.

Do you think seeing one of the clued-up therapists from these forums would be worthwhile in either case? I have little faith that I'll get anywhere with my GPs or even anyone they are likely to refer me to - although I might be lucky. I just don't want to leave it to luck if there is a way I can get solutions for these things quickly and easily - even if I have to pay out a bit.

Best regards,

Milamber

Hi Milamber

Sometimes we can have symptoms of depression that are caused by somethings at a biochemical level not working as well as it could, for instance if our hormone levels are not in sinc, or our guts react to some foods, or if we have adrenal exhaustion.

Check out your diet or consider going to a good nutritional therapist.

Jill

Thanks Jill.

Is there anything in particular I should look for? I have read quite a few books on nutrition and have been trying to distill the sensible stuff and get some balance, but I still have some big questions there.
I certainly wouldn't rule out diet, although I believe my diet has been better than it ever was before for over a year and a half now, and nothing has really changed significantly just recently. I am always looking out for intelligent ways to improve it, though.

Best regards,

Milamber

There are various threads on nutrition and depression on the forum already. You can also see what you make of Patrick Holford's site. There was a long article by him on the topic in the Autumn 2003 issue of the Human Givens Journal.

Another question I would have, Milamber, is about your work/life routines. Do you have a routine? What is it? How much control do you have over it?

Kathleen

Good question. I wondered if I should have expanded on that.

The nature of my job means that I am working with people in India and people in California, as well as a few people in the UK (I live in the UK).
And since I work from home you can guess how regular my working routine is - ie not at all. I'm sometimes up until late at night trying to chase people up in the states - or other days up early for a conf call with the Indians.
I realise this is far from ideal and have been trying to do something about that. However more recently the problem has been more that I simply can't sleep at night, or wake when I should.
I tend to find that I am more able to work at night too - although the idea of overdreaming may offer an explanation for that I hadn't considered before!

Although the issue with sleep and working patterns has been much worse recently, I have always had a problem with it since my early teens - but especially since I did various night jobs when i was at college and after.
I had expected (or at least hoped) that I would see some improvment when I "sorted myself out" a while back - with health, diet and emotional stability, but it has remained unaffected (and recently got worse - probably because of the nature of my work).

(BTW thanks for the tips on the nutrition side. I have seen a couple of nutrition related posts on here, but I'll keep more of a look out for them).

Thanks and best regards,

Milamber