My boss wouldn't give me full-time

I've said this several times. I have a crush on DC and DC does not know about it. Nobody at work knows about this crush.

What is a crush? A crush is when you like somebody, but you are afraid to tell that person that you like him. This is why the feeling is painful. I'm a very shy person. I can not act normal towards him. When he talks to me, I barely look at him and most of the times, I avoided him because I am scared of him. When he walks in the lunch room, I quickly
walk out of the room.

This suffering is torturing me. I feel like going to work tomorrow and hand in my resignation letter but half of me is worried about having no income.

I don't understand why I fell for him considering there are several guys in this workplace and billions of men out there in this world, and I am only attracted to him.

You are involved with an idea of a coworker on an emotional, personal level. By pursuing that idea of a "crush" you are choosing to mix personal with business. That means you lack boundaries around your work ethic. If you lack boundaries in one area (i.e. the crush) chances are you lack boundaries in other areas surrounding work. If you think your colleagues and boss are not aware of your lack of work ethics, you are naive. If you think you deserve a promotion (such as full time) for inability to keep business and personal separate, you are wrong. If you manage to complicate such a basic issue as "business and personal don't mix", if I was your boss I would not have the faith in you that you will use the companies resources effectively and efficiently, and therefore imo you should consider yourself lucky you still have a job.

When DC is not around (ie. when he's off), I can perform much better at work.

But when he's around, I feel really uncomfortable because I'm scared of him. I'm afraid that he thinks I'm clumsy or stupid at work.

Like I said, I want to get out of this crush but i can't seem to find a way to do this.

What should you be doing at work?
WORK, right?
If you are unable to focus on work at work, then you are not a valuable employe. It's as simple as black and white. You either have the self discipline to get him out of your head and become a valuable employe or you don't have the self discipline to get him out of your head and continue to be an employe who is easily replaceable.

You could make a concerted effort to find romance or male friendship outside of work. Replacing the object of affection with a different object of affection has always worked for me. It's at least worth a try for yourself.

WonderGurl wrote:What should you be doing at work?
WORK, right?
If you are unable to focus on work at work, then you are not a valuable employe. It's as simple as black and white. You either have the self discipline to get him out of your head and become a valuable employe or you don't have the self discipline to get him out of your head and continue to be an employe who is easily replaceable.

i am a human being not a robot! i have feelings. you sounded so blunt and cold-blooded like you've never fallen in love with somebody before or probably don't know what the meaning of love is.

Like i said previously. you can not judge a person on how they work by reading their posts. I work my butt out from 8:00- 5:00 without taking any breaks. I don't chat to my collegues. I only chat to them after work when we wait for the bus. A lot of the time, I stayed back voluntarily. I even used my own vehicle to do errands after work. So don't criticize my work ethics.

Apologies for my outburst... I don't get angry that often.

quietvoice wrote:You could make a concerted effort to find romance or male friendship outside of work. Replacing the object of affection with a different object of affection has always worked for me. It's at least worth a try for yourself.

Thanks for your suggestion. i have avoided him as much as i could at work. i don't chat to him or look at him. By doing this, i felt really guilty. because he probably thinks that i don't care for him. But deep inside, I really do.

calmy12 wrote:Like i said previously. you can not judge a person on how they work by reading their posts. I work my butt out from 8:00- 5:00 without taking any breaks. I don't chat to my collegues. I only chat to them after work when we wait for the bus. A lot of the time, I stayed back voluntarily. I even used my own vehicle to do errands after work. So don't criticize my work ethics.

Calmy, it is understandable that when you read the replies in this forum you sometimes get upset. It is normal, as you have stated you are not a robot. Now, try and take a step back for a moment and look at things from our perspective and possibly the perspective of your boss.

Look at the above quote. If I was a boss, why would I not give you full time? How is that possible? Why would I want to lose such a hard worker? Yet the FACT is you have been there 2 years and they are keeping you part-time. What does this mean? It means your self perception, the above quote of how you see yourself as a worker is NOT what they see. They are seeing something different. What do you think they see Calmy?

If you are willing to take step back, what are your less than perfect qualities Calmy, what is keeping them from hiring you full time, what is keeping them from finding you a position within the company, what do you lack? None of us are perfect Calmy, none of us have all the skills, knowledge and attitudes needed to be a good fit in every company. We all have weaknesses, what do you think yours might be?

calmy12 wrote: I work my butt out from 8:00- 5:00 without taking any breaks. I don't chat to my collegues. I only chat to them after work when we wait for the bus. A lot of the time, I stayed back voluntarily. I even used my own vehicle to do errands after work. So don't criticize my work ethics.

OK, Calmy, so if you work ever so hard at work without a minute of distraction, where did you find the time to develop feelings for a coworker? I mean, come on, if you were as dedicated to your work as you claim to be, you
A) wouldn't have had the time nor interest in giving in and indulging in your lustful impulse towards a coworkwer;
B) would have been given full time ages ago.

calmy12 wrote:My boss called me in to her office last week. She repeatedly say how valuable I am to this workplace. However, the company is unable to give me a full-time position. I've worked for this company for 2 years and I'm still an ongoing causal title i.e working 5 days a week. I'm feeling confused, all the new starters are given 'full-time' but I am still stuck with a causal position. Are all admin/reception type of work 'consider casual' nowdays?

Hi Calmy maybe the vocabulary is different across the pond! Can I ask what you mean by casual hours?

Hey there

Obviously there's a contradiction in your boss's statement.

If you were that "valuable" they would invest in you and give you full time position and an access to all the added benefits that all the other full time employees enjoy. On the other hand, if you and your skills were not that valuable and disposable, they would keep you as a part time. I'm not saying that you suck as an employee, I'm sure they have a range of candidates that they are on the fence of pushing through to full time status, and perhaps you were stuck on that fence for a while.

What I would do in your situation is this. First.. I would not take this personally. Maybe this is not something your boss is thrilled to do either, but a decision that has to be made based on the company's finances and expected goals for profits and earnings. Instead, keep your chin up and continue to work as hard as you can - it can only help in making you look more valuable as an employee. At the same time, I would quietly look for other jobs - maybe you can find yourself a better paying job with better benefits. I would also look into learning more skills that would enhance you as an employee - an employee becomes an asset to a company when he/she demonstrates that he/she is useful in many more different ways than one.

How are things at the moment Calmy?