by Guess what? » Sun Jul 15, 2018 11:59 am
So, she talks to me again.
The group wanted to do a dinner and so we went out and we were 5 of us. We didn't talk until the end, when her and her friends wanted to come back home. So I greeted the others, then we stared each other and said just "bye"; then I said "oh come on, come here" and I gave her two kisses on her cheecks and said "goodnight".
Then... she's having dates with an hot guy met on tinder, but there are trouble, he doesn't seem so much interested in her, or at least, he has not time for her. She keeps complaining about this, but I'm sure it is just the carrot and rod thing; how he gave her a little bit of attention and she will be caught again.
Meanwhile, she is acting strangly. Yesterday our group wanted to go in disco (note: 90% of these people are gay, my best friend too), so she discovered that her best friend has a big d**k and she started touching him saying "Yeah, i'm horny now". Did sexy dances with others, she disappeard with a eterosexual dude (but seems like they did nothing), and then... oh christ.. she kissed my best friend with the tongue.
Ok, he's gay, but he knows how bad i feel for all this, but everytime he cheer for her to find a big d**k, dances with her.. and until here ok, but when he started to grab her boobs and kissing her, well.. can i be a little bit angry?
And he just said "She took me, what could I do?"... ehm, saying 'no'? And then I said - "what about if you find me with your ex?"
Him: "I will broke your fingers"
Then go f**k yourself you idiot, why should I suffer all this?
Uff, ok.. Now, now... I cannot expect much from this right? I did mistakes, and i have to pay for them... same mistakes that looks like she is doing as well now. Am i wrong? She's dating with one but sometimes have fun with others.. while when I kissed another girl (just a kiss, and we two started dating from just 2 weeks) she left me.
Sometimes she caught me kissing others, after we closed up, and thursday the entire group believed I had sex with someone (it is not true), so she thinks I'm having fun as well, or even if not, she won't care.
So there's not much for me to complain, right? I can't be interested in her life.
though it hurts so much... i don't know what I want.. I want her, but meanwhile, an her return can only mean that i'm the second choice.
I don't know what is wrong with me, all these months and still... I tried everything but nothing works.