TheCloud wrote:sonpan wrote:Thank you for your reply, To Some extend your are right, That quack or my family has No regret or agony for what i gone through, but this hurts me NOW, i mean Now i feel much frustrated Emotionally and psychology, what he did has had a long lasting effect on me while growing up
Yes, I can see that this is a source of much agony for you. I want to make it clear that my goal is not to erase your anger. It is quite alright for you to be upset. What I want is to help you see an option that is better for you personally than being angry. People don't choose to be miserable if they can see an alternative; it is only when every other possibility looks hopeless or useless that people choose to anger as a means of warding off potential threats.
You see, you imagine that you cannot communicate with your family who has done this thing to you, so you hold onto your anger as armor and a weapon to harm them if they ever try something like that again. Since you can't see any way of helping them to understand, you decide that you will at least make them regret having abused you as they did. This is the greatest happiness that you can imagine for the future.
I would like to show you that a greater happiness is possible, a future where you do not need to be angry in order to protect yourself. Is this something you have thought about or are interested in?
Yes, i would like to be happy, but i want to say something before, you know i am form a very populated country from Asia, and here my country has several states,some are quite developed and some are very rural and undeveloped, in developed and modern parts of country people are being aware of injustice and other crimes,however in rural and undeveloped parts of country still don't care too much for this sort of incidents.
That quack was a unqualified rural doctor who also used to boast of having occult power and black-magic so most of the family person had a blind faith in him, and the let him allowed to punish ( molest ) me, and on the pretext of punishment he used to molest and sexually assault me very badly. and since my family ( my uncle, aunt,mom and others ) supported him so later he became totally fearless, and he began treating me like a slave.
usually in our rural village boys of age 12-13, used to become nude when the taking bath in river or canals so it was not new, but still there was a difference most young boys who used to swim nude in village were not being forced BUT i didn't want to strip but HE used to force me and strip me, Also since my family supported and was OK with this so others neighbors never minded this. also in village there were CAST System for lower class ( poors) and Upper Cast ( riches ).....since we belonged to lower cast ( poor one ) so this sort of punishment was not new for the rural peoples......often if a poor low cast boys got caught stealing crops or caught stealing Mangoes ( after plucking it ) so rural people used to strip him nude and paraded him nude in village as punishment.
My mom was a Fat lazy lady, and since my father left him, she became dependent on aunt's family, and she was OK with what aunt was saying or doing, my sister's used to make and c**k foods, sweeping the house, where as i had to do all the outworks from market to Fields or crops, and even protecting Mango Trees from other naughty boys of village, if my sisters used to do any mistake my mom or aunt used to beat them but in my case my aunt or mom used to call that quack to punish me, and to that they used to order me to remove all the clothes and sit and wait for him wearing only a underwear, when my sister's used to see me sitting in my underwear they would get to know that i am going to be punished and before that quack used to arrive,my sisters used to call some neighboring girls and boys to witness my punishment, and when that quack used to come, he used to pull off my underwear in front everyone and would punish me by pulling on my penis badly, for my family, sister's and other neighboring girls and boys it was a funny show but for me it was very painful and embarrassing.....slowly slowly my sister's and neighboring boys and girls spread this thing in my school and i was teased and bullied in my school by classmates and i got it very difficult to confront them in school, and at home i had no idea how to deal with that quack, if i ever tried to resist him then he used to slap me and would pull my hairs, once one of my sister asked to that quack that he pull on my penis, so it can damage me but he replied that young boys penis are quite flexible and can be pulled to some extent and it will not get damage, so they let him continue this for almost 2 years and i had to tolerate this ALL.