Hi all,
I have been in a LDR (started) online since october.
I had never had a relationship before (i never trusted anyone really/ive always felt scared) but with him i manageed to open and be flirty.
All was well until we reached the butterfly phase (which i had experienced before with other people) and started heading for something more serious. Since then i've regularly had doubts about our relationship and whether or not i was really in love, because I am kinda numb to emotions and I don't even really understadn the concept of being in love/i don't know what i am supposed to feel.
i kept pushing these thoughts aside until he came to visit, we had the best week ever ad we decided to close the distance and get married.
Anxiety forced itself on me and took control of my life almost a week ago, and i almost broke up with me because i was in so much mental and physical pain. He's the best guy ever and I know we can be happy, he's so patient and he's supporting me so much right now despite obviously being hurt. Im glad I was honest and open to him and im seeking therapy, but im scared im gonna realise i don't love him or something.
many people keep tellng me that love is the will to compromise and commit like you'd never do with someone else, and also a bit of attraction. I have all those things with him and he's just the sweetest, most funny and perfect man i've ever met.
Why can't i be normal/happy? what should I do? is this anxiety or a red flag?