mysticwitch wrote:She's my mom. She needs surgery and she (according to her) can't (won't?) quit till she has a date set for the surgery. And she wants a dog and wants to pick one out she wants. A medical professional suggested I get a service dog. That's not something that should be shared. That's like a cancer patient being bullied by a healthy person to share their medical marijuana.
-1- Did the doctor take you through the steps to get a service dog? There is direct one-on-one training required between patient and the dog. It isn't anything like sharing medical marijuana. Service dogs cost a minimum of $15,000 and it involves a fairly detailed process. You just don't go to your local dealer and pick up a service dog.
I'm guessing neither you or your mother are familiar with the process?
-2- If your mother wants a dog and you have no issue with it, have her get one from a shelter. Or she can buy one. What do you care?
I absolutely get what you're saying. It's just since I've given up my entire life being my parents caretaker... I just... Ugh, when my doctor suggested a service dog I thought it'd be my chance to have something really beneficial for my health. Not to mention something without harmful side effects like meds I've been on my entire life.
Given up your life? So you live on the income your parents provide as their caretaker? It doesn't sound like you get paid. And it doesn't sound like you are in much of a position to provide care given your need for a service dog.
My guess, correct me if I'm wrong, is that you have no real source of income? Your parents pay for your housing, electrical, Internet, food, expenses, etc., but you don't get any pay.
Before initially making this post I got pumped up reading the importance of putting yourself first especially when it pertains to health. And I guess I was hoping to find advice on how to do that.
There is nothing wrong with putting yourself first. It just sounds like you currently have limited means to do so.
How you put yourself first is actually pretty straight forward. You just say "no" when there are things you don't wish to do. You do what you want to do when you want to do it. Get up as late as you want, watch what you want, eat what you want. There really is not that much to it.
The problem is that when you put yourself first there is potential fallout or consequences. It's hard to put yourself first if you are the child, prisoner, ward, or employee of another person. If they have the power to cut off your allowance, to make your life hard, then not putting them first can result in penalties.
And that is what it sounds like. It sounds like your mother is in charge. It sounds like you live in the downstairs and have no skills or resources that allow you to put yourself first. Am I wrong?
Maybe you can answer in another way. IF...hypothetically, you wanted to move out of the downstairs and get your own place how long would it take you to make that happen? I'm not talking about moral responsibility to your mother here. I'm just asking that if you had to save money and get a job so as to rent your own place, how long would it take?