Losing the inspiraton and creativity

Postby JoanS » Sat Feb 06, 2016 5:12 pm

Hello there,
At first i didnt pay much attention to it because i thought it was just a phase when i was only feeling tired. Well before i come out and talk about my problem at first im gonna give some background info.
When i was in highschool, i used to LOVE literature, and i still do. I was a bookworm then and i still am now. I love books, expecially fantasy and historical fiction. Reading has always been for me a form of entertainment and stimulation that i have always enjoyed. I cant describe that great feeling when i finally find that great book that makes me lose myself into its pages. But... there is always a but, before going to highschool i first started to write, i created a fantasy world that slowly became really precious to me. I started to create kingdoms, cultures, religions... history. I created a whole world and then, i wrote my very first book. I finished it in only three months and i was 17. Well, later i decided to edit it and change it a bit because i found some parts a bit lame, but still, i was really inspired. It was a short story, just 200 pages. Every day i would write something in my journals and at the end of highschool i had 2 full written journals full of notes, hundreds of drawings and tons of maps all of them about my fantasy world. I think that creativity is my very best virtue. Ive tried a lot of arts, i have been into drawing, painting, sculping, music, but writing was the only thing that i really thought i was best at. I really was good at writing. I got the highest grades at writing essays.Then a friend told me, dude become a writer, you can do it.
Thats when the writers dream started. I had planned a series and started writing it, every day new characters came to my mind and the story became ever more complicated and diverse. I was into it, i was living it and each time i toughed the keyboard the words were flowing out of me. my story was coming to life.
Well, it came to an end. After high school i went to study abroad, and i didnt write anymore. Even though now Im only into scientific subjects I still didnt let go of literature. Yes what i study doensnt have to do with literature but i still read every single day. Ideas still keep comming to me but idk, i just cant write anymore and im starting to feel scared because its been a year now and ive only written two pages. Even when i do write its so hard, it takes me so long to put the words together, i dont know im getting crazy. Im not even drawing or doing anything else thats creative. Yeah i still read alot, i love it, i have so many fantasy books that i clearly enjoy, but the ideas that come to my mind about my own story are so hard to put on paper, i think that i am losing the very thing that im best at. For example, at this moment i have alot of free time, school starts 6 months later and now i work as a part time translator. I have plenty of free time and i decided to go to the bibliothek and write there. I stayed for 2 hours and only wrote a page. It was hard as hell and i didnt get satisfied. I only want my power to come back, i want to be that guy again, that young writer who can write ten pages in a hour and then write more because he cant stop. I used to be that guy, i have the ideas, its not that i have no idea what to write, its just that i cant write anymore. I cant put the words on paper. I dont know what to do! Is it just a matter of time or what? Thing is that writing is part of my identity, its part of me, and now i feel like ive lost my very most precious thing.
Id appreciate every reply, thanks a lot.
JoanS
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#1

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sat Feb 06, 2016 5:45 pm

What may help is not to confuse the act of writing with being a writer.

You were not passionate about writing, you were passionate about creating this fantasy world. To create this fantasy world you chose to write it down. You could have used other methods, but you chose writing. That is different than being a writer.

Your inspiration was creating a world, it was not the act of writing. Most likely your struggle is simply that outside of this world you created, you really don't have a passion for writing. That is why you are pursuing something else in school and translating, etc.

You are young, it is normal to go through some challenges finding what interests you.
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#2

Postby JoanS » Sat Feb 06, 2016 8:26 pm

Thanks for the reply, well then im just confused that i keep creating and making my world ever more diverse, but somehow writing about it kinda left me when i didnt want it to leave. Well i hope it comes later on, i hope
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#3

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Sat Feb 06, 2016 11:21 pm

JoanS wrote:Thanks for the reply, well then im just confused that i keep creating and making my world ever more diverse, but somehow writing about it kinda left me when i didnt want it to leave. Well i hope it comes later on, i hope


Why?

I'm not saying it is necessarily a bad thing, but how do you think this fantasy world is helping you in life?
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#4

Postby JoanS » Sun Feb 28, 2016 8:54 pm

Its not that its helping me to live. Its something that I created myself, through a long period of time. It has a significant importance to me because I think its the only thing that truly belongs to me, somehow like my own identity. It makes me feel proud when I look at all the maps, the drawings and the written journals that Ive made during these years.
But i think I realized why the inspiration faded. I had my peak of inspiration back in highschool. Why? Because of history and literature. These are my two favorite subjects, and also the source of inspiration. At the university I study only scientific things and such stuff cant inspire me for nothing.
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#5

Postby Richard@DecisionSkills » Mon Feb 29, 2016 2:43 pm

Okay.

It does sound like you put a lot of effort into what you wrote. You should be proud. So now what? Do you begin reading history/literature again and invest more time/energy into this fantasy world? Or do you create a new story?

We all have a professional and personal life we must balance. In our personal lives we select hobbies we enjoy. It does not sound like your fantasy world will ever provide professional value, so then it would better fit in your personal life as a hobby.
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#6

Postby JoanS » Wed Mar 02, 2016 1:39 am

Yeah, youre absolutely right, but we all live for our hobbies dont we? Well I kind found my creativity again. While writing I can only do in my own mother language and all my friends here dont understand it, I cant share it with anyone. Now I started to draw again because the language of art belongs to all of us. Well, we all gotta accept what we have at present, rather than miss what we had in the past.
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